I Could Have Been An Adult In 2002

The people who read my blogs regularly know I grew up on Sat Oct 4, 2008. My life changed on that day. My thoughts, attitude, knowledge, daily life changed from being a naive person to a mature adult. I could have grown up years earlier. My life situation and the circumstances that made me realize I must grow up were similar in 2002. Here’s what happened:

Thundercloud, thecrazyjer, Mr. Corbin, and I visited Santa Cruz. Thundercloud drove us to the Santa Cruz coast to visit beaches. We found a beach with few people and many parasurfers. The weather was cold and overcast with a nice and cool onshore breeze. There were a few times the breeze could have pushed me back when I was standing in the middle of the beach waiting for my friends who went to the ocean water. I closed my eyes when I felt a big breeze blowing towards me.

I felt lost, sad, and depressed. I took life for granted. I accepted a life feeling depressed. I faked being strong. I was weak. I took life for granted. I believed in fate such that my 2002 bad life became a good life next year. My life was good in 2003-2006; however, it wasn’t a true good life. It’s hard to explain in a short paragraph. I consider another blog entry my 2003-2006 good life was a subpar good life.

I witnessed the parents playing on the beach with their children. I witnessed the parasurfers having an adventure and enjoy the fun and joy of an adrenalin rush. I witnessed the couples on another date getting closer. All of these people were not me. They knew how to live their lives. They were happy. They enjoyed the present moment making memories.

My life situation feeling lost, sad, depressed and being a wimp, and the circumstances being in public witnessing the happy people were similar to when I was at the Los Altos Art & Wine Festival on Sat Oct 4, 2008. I didn’t know why I didn’t realize I must grow up on that Santa Cruz beach day. I waited greater than six years for my I must grow up self-discovery.

I can’t imagine how my life is different today if I grew up in 2002. I have questions only. Could I have went back to school part time to earn an AA or a BS in Accounting? Could I have changed the way I dressed? Could I have purchased my own car instead of driving my parents’ cars? How about new hobbies and new interests I discovered and tried? Hiking, Mahjong, ice skating, ballroom dancing? Could I have read fiction books? I could have become a stock broker since I followed stocks for a new career. I know with 100% confidence my life could have been less boring if I grew up in 2002. The best question is, “Who were going to be my new friends?”

I’m lucky I realized I must grow up. I know people older than me who act like jerks, behave like they’re still teenagers, and take their lives for granted. I have more work to catch up from my missed life in my 20s. There is still more discovery, new adventures and new experiences, more trial and error, more people to meet, and a job that fit’s my knowledge and experience.

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