My Sad Blog

First a few updates before my :-( Blog.

^^ My braces schedule is going as planned. The dentist pulled four teeth on Wednesday January 10 without problems. Tomorrow I get measurements. I get braces on Wednesday January 24.

^^ I'm still busy and I still remember to look at VirtualDub and Blazemp, software to help video editing. I'm eager to create VBlogs. In the meantime, check out my favorite YouTube videos at www.youtube.com/ininvideos

^^ Yesterday, I got a sore throat. Yeah, another one :-/ I'm confident the sore throat is minor and I expect a fast recovery. No double wammy ;-)

Today at work I felt sad . . . sad I work at one of the sorriest companies in the world. I'm no longer mad anymore. I give up. I just don't care anymore. Fire me and it's a blessing in disguise; however, if my company fires me, I tell them to lay me off. I can apply for unemployment insurance.

What happened today was my dumb ass co-worker who calculates the statistics fucked up again. He made a mistake with the absorption statistics from March 2006 to December 2006. I think he has been correcting the error for the past three working days. How sad. At first, I thought the hell with the corrections on the reports I created. Then again, I have the guilty conscience of the must do my job all the way attitude—no half ass work. Fortunately, I found a way to correct my reports with the absorption statistics with minimal disruption. I'm glad I work smart, not work hard *__* One of these days his weaseling out ways are going to fail. Nothing lasts forever.

I feel sad because it's hopeless my company is going to improve. Management? Who are they? I don't know them. I have no idea what's their response or action if I tell them what's going on. Are they going to listen or pretend to listen? Are they going to take my observations serious or blow them off? Are they going to be sincere? I'm not sure management is creditable. I just don' t know who the management are? T__T

I feel sad my company does nothing to make the company a place for employees to grow, to become better people professionally and personally. I self-taught myself and created the Innovate Infinitely attitude to never stop learning, never stop being a better person. I contributed to my department new ideas and innovative products such as creating new reports, speed the turnaround time for the brokers' requests, and expanded my responsibilities and functions. Yet, the company fails to follow my example, follow my lead to be better.

Today, we live in the Information Age. My idiot co-worker believes we live in the Industrial Age. He uses a system to calculate statistics in the 80s. He has never improved his job, his game if I say so. Look at his work and it's the same since 1988. How sad. It's depressing. In a perfect day, he can finish the monthly statistics in half a work day. In the Information Age, he must calculate in less than two hours efficiency. Notice the key word is efficiency.

A few of my co-workers shares similar feelings about the company. Many of the brokers worry about themselves. Lots of talk, lots of lip service, few actions, few compassions. Lots of promises, few accomplishing the promises. Lots of smiles, few joys. Nobody sets the high expectations in the company. From my eyes, I see the same, predicable work day year after year after year since I started. For the junk database, I'm no longer pissed off at the database and the programmers. I'm sad the database failed to reach the potential.

My 2006 annual review is Thursday. I'm so sad and crying whatever happens good or bad means nothing to a sad and unmotivated employee ;__;