Death

I answer quick questions.

1. Am I depressed? No
2. Am I dying? No
3. Am I sound body, mind, and spirit? Yes

I thought about death during my morning work day. It was the first time I thought about death for hours. Death is a human commonality. Nothing lasts forever.

What happens when we die? My dad believes nothing happens after death. There's no heaven. There's no afterlife. Our bodies are eternally rested six feet deep below ground. It's like a light bulb switch. It turns on and turns off. Our bodies turn off forever. I believe my dad.

However, I thought about heaven. I thought about the afterlife. I'm comfortable being a ghost wandering around Earth helping people. Maybe I qualify to become a guardian angel. Why do we think about heaven? Heaven gives us a positive feeling death is not that bad. Live a good life. Heaven is the reward. There is life after death. Maybe the afterlife is in another dimension. Maybe the afterlife is in the sky and the clouds we commonly known. I don't know if I believe in heaven. I continue seeking to understand heaven.

Am I ready to die? No. There is so much I haven't experience. I'm behind in life. I'm still a beginner in life. I wasted some of my years doing nothing. I'm catching up what I missed. For example, visit a European country, visit a State outside the Pacific Time Zone, read more books, listen to a fiction audio book, complete a do-it-yourself science kit, organize a potluck chow mein, and eat a ramen burger. I'm 50% happy and 50% sad if I died today. I'm happy because I'm a mature adult never taking life for granted. I realized I must grow up on Sat Oct 4, 2008. I'm sad because I live with my parents. I never experience living on my own. The Most Interesting Man said, "It's never too late to beef up your obituary".

Why do people rarely talk about death? It's sad. It's depressing. It's far in the future. We live the present moment. I believe living the present is the best way to live a happy life. There is no reason to talk about the distant future.

Why did I suddenly think about death? I dreamed last night I was trapped in a big retail store. I struggled finding the exit walking around the store including the employee only areas. I found an exit which turned out to be a long and steep winding slide ending at a wall. I died. I thought about my current job, too. I asked and answered myself, "Is this going to be my jobs from today to the day I die? Contract work with no career advancement." I'm bless I have a job. It's tough to find a better job in today's tough job market. Contract work limits my life choices. Contract work pays lower than permanent work.

I didn't think about death when I attended funerals. Maybe the next funeral I think about death. I was eight years old when I attended my first funeral. My great-great grandfather from my mom's side died. I remember crying for a few minutes because I saw other people cried. I didn't cry because he died. I was confused wondering around knowing nothing. My parents never told me about funerals. I don't remember talking about death.

We converse the good moments after a person dies for the rest of our lives. We share the deceased's positives attributes. We share his or her struggles to success. We laugh at their funny moments. We express the true meanings and honest feelings of the deceased person. We share what was important. No embarrassment. No pride. No bad news.

People die every day. The world revolves the next day. Life continues. To quote the late Steve Jobs, "No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it.

"And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's
change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too
long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true."

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