I'm the oldest among my siblings. I felt one disadvantage being the oldest when we were children and teenagers. I was the first to make mistakes. My siblings learned from my mistakes growing up. I was the first child my parents raised me. My parents learned from their mistakes raising me. My siblings didn't repeat my mistakes. My parents corrected their mistakes raising my siblings. My siblings were smart students with lots of friends. My parents encouraged my siblings to study hard. I was the opposite. I was an average student with little friends. I felt jealous. I felt weak. I felt my family abandoned me. I felt life betrayed me.
We are adults today. My siblings are making mistakes today. I'm learning from their mistakes which includes raising a family and dating people. I have the desire to avoid repeating their mistakes. I have the desire to get smarter. I don't know why my siblings are regressing? Is it family stress? Is it work stress? Do my siblings stop learning? Do my siblings take life for granted? Do my siblings loss the desire to continue improving? Do my siblings accept their life as good as it gets and can't get better? The answer or answers is yes to more than one question.
Further, I experienced the most problems when we were children. My problems were poor physical fitness except my running speed, mental average intelligence, emotional worrying, emotional cowardness, and social being a loner for some school years. Today my siblings have the most problems. My adult problems are George Constanza problems unemployed and live with my parents. The two problems are nothing compared to my siblings.
One last question which is personal. Am I evil observing and learning from my siblings' mistakes? I forgive my parents for their poor job raising me. I'm an adult. I'm responsible for my successes and for my failures.
Desire Is More Important Than Knowledge
People expected my siblings to work at high paying jobs. Their jobs are typical middle class white collar jobs. I wonder why almost all smart students in high school and college aren't millionaires. Research concludes many millionaires are average C students or dropouts. Do these average C students or dropouts have the desire to learn to become millionaires? Likely yes. Do these average C students or dropouts know what to learn and what not to learn? Likely yes. I'm making a connection between my smart siblings when they were young not becoming millionaires and the millionaires who were average students. Do my siblings (and people like my siblings) lose the desire to continue their education or do they accept their current life not working to improve their lives?
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