Saturday, March 21, 2009

Am I Weird?

I remember my childhood between 2nd grade and 5th grade. Many classmates called me weird. I never understood what was weird about me and why they called me weird? I didn’t know what a weird person was. Classmates teased me and took advantage of me. Yet, I still had friends. Most of my classmates knew how to get along, knew how to treat each other with respect, and make new friends. I knew none of those skills. Most of the mature classmates treated me well and I didn’t know how I survived elementary school without them. I failed to learn how to grow up and become a wise child.

I looked at my face and my face portrayed I’m supposed to be weird. Kids judged classmates by their looks? *grumble, grumble* I was also a tattletale always looking for trouble and telling the teacher and yard supervisor. My excuse was I wanted nobody to get hurt. I learned the hard way nobody likes a tattletale. I lost friends being a tattletale. The turning point between being normal and being weird was my classmates saying I was a tattletale. And the turning point where I started playing by myself at times in elementary school. In 4th and 5th grade, I learned how to play football and run fast by myself or else I had no friends to play with during recess and lunch. I remember some lunch hours I befriended someone who was also alone.

I never told my parents I was weird. Why? I had no faith they help me become a better person. I had no confidence they help me. My brother got the straight A’s and the citizenship awards. I was taking remedial reading classes which never helped me. Do I blame my parents today? No, and it’s too late if I wanted to.

Am I still weird today at my age? Do many people look at my young, not handsome looking Chinese face and think I’m weird, I’m nobody? They think I’m a geek with no life. They think I’m a geek who’s a homeboy. Or they think I’m below average. Or they think I’m a quiet person. Am I portraying any of those kind of a person?

Yes, I’m a geek. Am I a weird geek in the geek world? Some examples. I play one game online which is Team Fortress 2 compared to many gamers who play many games online. I’m an anime fan and I have one PVC figure compared to many anime fans with many PVC figures. Also, I have six manga titles compared to many anime fans with many manga titles. I’m not a computer programmer or expert; however, I’m intelligent in maintaining my PC. BTW, I plan to build my first PC around November and December 2008.

I don’t drink alcohol beverages and I don’t drink coffee. Never had any of them. I don’t go clubbing. I watched one movie in 2008. Am I weird because I don’t visit bars and don’t watch movies? I do workout at the gym. I do cook. I do listen to classic rock and classical music. I complete my work assignments on time. I admit I make mistakes. Perhaps it’s bad luck I have not met anyone with almost exact hobbies and interests and I have met people who believe my hobbies and interests are weird.

Who are weird people? I tell you my opinion. Are weird people dumb? Are weird people slow? Are weird people ugly and/or fat? My answers are no. Weird people are immature people. They are dishonest, impatient, angry, ignorant, freeloaders, conceited . . . basically a jerk or bitch or plain clueless. I spend my time hanging around with modest, sincere, and happy people with manners, a sense of humor, never calling their family and friends stupid, good hygiene, and knowing everyone’s name. Those people regardless of physical attributes are the people I want to know, want to hang out with, and want to be a better person with.

I'm growing up Finding Raymond Mar

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