Sunday, February 02, 2014

Good Jokes Men Must Know

Don Steinberg wrote a book titled, "Jokes: Every Men Should Know." He wrote in the introduction that "there's nothing wrong with having a stash of great jokes ready to go. The right joke in the right social situation can be pure gold." He stated, "The only joke book you'll ever need." I'm going to share three of the jokes in his book. I hope to encourage adults to buy the book or, at least, know some good jokes—really good jokes. The book cover is small and black like the size of a man's black book. Good marketing.

1. On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual to greet the passengers. He tells them their altitude, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather. He advises them to relax and have a good flight.

Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his copilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob."

All of the passengers hear it.

As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says, "Don't forget the coffee!"

2. An older guy goes to the doctor's office to ask about getting a prescription for Viagra.

He's in the waiting room when the woman at the reception desk calls his name and says, for everyone to hear, "Mr. Frazier. You're here to see the doctor about your impotence, right?"

The guy is mortified.

"No," he says, just as loudly. "I'm looking into getting a sex change operation, and I was hoping to get the same doctor who did yours."

3. A businessman flew to Las Vegas for a convention, gambled, and lost almost everything. He had nothing left but a couple dollars and a return plane ticket. If he could just get to the airport, he could get home.

He went out of the front of the casino, got in a cab, and explained his situation to the driver. He promised to send fare money from home. He offered up his credit card numbers, his driver's license number, and his address.

But the cabbie said: "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out." So the businessman had to hitchhike to the airport.

A year later, the businessman has worked hard to make back his money. He returns to Vegas and this time, he wins big. He goes out to the front of the casino to get a cab to the airport. He looks around and, sure enough, at the back of the taxi line, there's the same driver who refused to give him a ride.

The businessman thinks for a moment about how he could get revenge. He gets in the first cab in the long line and asks the driver: "How much for a ride to the airport?"

"Fifteen bucks," comes the reply.

"And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?"

"What? Get outta here!" the driver shouts.

The businessman tries each and every cab in line. He always asks the same questions, and every driver has the same responses.

When he reaches his original cab driver at the back of the line, he gets in and asks, "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replies, "Fifteen bucks." The businessman says, "OK", and off they go.

Then, as they drive slowly past the long lines of cabs, the businessman gives each driver a huge grin and a thumbs-up.

No comments: