Data Analyst Actually Data Entry Dream

I dreamed last night my first day on the job at my new company as a data analyst. The dream began at a signaled intersection on Interstate 880 between Junction 880-101 and Brokaw Road which doesn't exist in real life. I drove northbound from San Jose to Fremont. I waited for the green light driving my 2005 Toyota Camry. I accelerated at an easy slow pace. Traffic was light for a morning commute.

I exited Mowry Road in Fremont. I turned right. I realized I don't know the company location. I drove to a Chevron station to look up the address on my Samsung Galaxy S7.

I arrived at the freestanding Office and R&D two story building. The dream skipped to the main hallway where I met some coworkers. I already received my security ID badge. A manager walked with me to my workstation. I visited a coworker in a private office with no windows before my workstation. The private office contained all company video game magazines back issues. The coworker maintained multiple copies of most monthly back issues.

My work area was not a typical open office with cubicles. I met one co-worker nicknamed Si-Tiger pronounced Psy-tiger. My work area was a sectioned off partition along a wall. The drop ceiling was low--eight feet from the ground. There was a swinging door entering and exiting. The sheet rock was removed along the wall. No insulation. The wall studs could be seen.

My workstation desktop computer was like the late 1990s desktops. 21-inch gigantic heavy monitor. Windows 95 operating system. There was trouble with my emails. There were at least 200 emails unread.

The time was 11am. My training began. The same manager handed me a spiral notebook seen in schools and colleges. Each page contained four columns. Each row contained PC hardware specifications including hard drive size and RAM size. Each column and row represented one desktop PC for a total of four desktop PCs per row. The PC hardware specifications were year 2026 specifications and not 1990s specifications. My job was entering all specifications to the computer. I woke up.

High School Campus Is A Teenage Day Care Center

I dreamed last night I was a student in high school. One class was like a Reserve Officers Training Corp (ROTC) class. It was taught like a ROTC class. Most of the class material was ROTC. The instructor was like a ROTC who was a retired Marine officer.

The students and I were outside the classroom. The instructor told us to go inside the classroom which was like a mini gym. The ceilings were tall. The classroom was four times bigger than a standard classroom. The students were given a yellow piece of paper with questions. There were a few multiple choice questions. There were two fill in the blank. The rest were short answers.

My dream immediately fast forward to the instructor handing back the yellow piece of paper to the students. It turned out we were given a surprised test. All students did poorly. I scored a 73. The instructor punished the students by telling us to go outside and correct our mistakes. I woke up.

High School Is A Joke

My cynical thinking the ROTC like class was a waste of time. I thought back to my high school years. Many classes were a waste of time. Teenagers need to learn mathematics, learn reading, and learn writing. The deeper question is "How much depth do teenagers need to know US history, world history, geography, science, foreign language, and fine arts?" Parents are told by the government these classes must be taken to graduate with a high school diploma. US citizens should know the civil war, World War II, the capital of the USA, and water is composed of hydrogen and oxygen. I reread a few literature books in high school as an adult such as The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Red Badge Of Courage by Stephen Crane, and Of Mice And Men by John Steinbeck. Most of the books stank. Physical education was a joke. I don't know today's physical education curriculum.

My high school is a joke opinion may be weak. College bound high school students must take college requisites. I accept. Otherwise, my opinion has merit. Music, art, and cooking do nothing to get a good paying job in today's Information Age. Students who are lazy may have a point. They're bored. The high school standards and high school policies are a mismatch. I admit they're not perfect.

Start The Conversation

Education is passing knowledge to future generations. Any other definition is probably bullshit.

Update On A Past Blog

I add another lesson learned taking R.O.T.C. in high school. The blog is High School R.O.T.C. Leadership Lesson Another Viewpoint By Rank written on Oct 24, 2020. Here is the lesson on words.

*What is the one most important word? We.
*What are the two most important words? Thank you.
*What are the three most important words? If you please.
*What are the four most important words? What is your opinion?
*What are the five most important words? You did a good job.
*What are the six most important words? I admit I made a mistake.

Instant Bullets Blog Mar 3, 2025

*Zombo.com is a joke webpage from the George Washington University Center For Professional Development in 1999. Zombo.com consists of one page with a title and animation of seven colorful discs. There is an audio clip welcoming the visitor to "Zombo com."

*Round Up by Sam Spence. Selections from Autumn Thunder. 40 Years of NFL Films Music.

*Jazlyn "Jazzy" Guerra aka iamjazzysworldtv interviews Mike Tyson. Tyson fought social media star Jake Paul.

"Well, I don’t know. I don’t believe in the word legacy. I just think that's another word for ego. Legacy doesn't mean nothing. That's just some word everybody grabbed onto. Someone said that word, and everyone grabbed on the words, and now it's used every five seconds. It means absolutely nothing to me. I'm just passing through. I'mma die, and it's gonna be over. Who cares about legacy after that? What a big ego. So I'm gonna die. I want people to think that I'm this, I'm great. I'm, no. We're nothing. We're just dead. We're dust. We're absolutely nothing. Our legacy is nothing."

*Board Game Geek Forum topic Why I Got Rid Of It discussed board games the original poster removed from his collection.

*World's Shortest And Tallest Women In 2024. Rumeysa Gelgi from Turkey is 7 foot tall. Jyoti Amge from India is 2 foot and 3/4 inch tall.

*[I] told me kids they were allowed to hit each other once per day so they should really think it through and not waste their one hit and now they're calmly discussing when might be the best time to hit each other (but the actual hitting has stopped, I'm a genius).

*Financial markets from the textbook and financial markets from real life.

*visceral: 2 relating to deep inward feelings rather than to the intellect; emotions over intelligence; instinctive. 1 relating to the viscera or internal organs in a body.

*leeway: the amount of freedom to move or act that is available. An allowable margin of freedom or variation; tolerance.

*Epididymal Hypertension. Aching or painful testicles. Some people may experience the pain after sexual arousal not ending in orgasm. Blue balls is a slang term. A cummy ache.

*The Emperor's New Clothes. A slang term expressing when many people believe something that is not true. To express something as untrue.

A Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale published in 1837. A vain emperor was obsessed with new clothes. Two con artists tricked the emperor they made clothes out of fabric visible to those worthy. In other words, the con artists made no new clothes or made nothing. The emperor wore fake clothes which was nothing while the subjects remained silent to avoid being thought of a fool.

*Kevin Durant's Advice To Victor Wembanyama Phoenix Suns Durant said to San Antonio Spurs Wembanyama after Wembanyama suffered from deep vein thrombosis or a blood clot on his right shoulder ending Wembanyama's 2024-2025 NBA season.

"Just be patient, and that's the most you can do. You can't get back on the court. Being upset about it is not gonna do much for you. You know, so get in tune with yourself a little bit more, and maybe go find some new Legos to put together, read a couple new books, and then when you know it's time to get back on the court to start working out and stuff, lock in. I think he'll be fine. You know, it's tough mentally not playing the game, but you know when you understand what's ahead and focus on each and every day, it'll make it a little easier."

*Old Shirts. Remove the buttons before throwing away, recycling, or using as rags.

*It's better to aim high and miss than aim low and hit. Agree or disagree?

*The US population is separated by 10% radical left, 10% radical right, 70% too busy to care, and 10% love to fight. Agree or disagree?

*A Block Of Clay. Create something your way. Make something to match your desire.

Oreo Can't Be Milk's Favorite Cookie

The Oreo chocolate sandwich cookies were part of yesterday's Super Bowl LIX snacks. It has been multiple years since I last ate an Oreo. I didn't eat an Oreo during the COVID-19 pandemic. I purchased a Costco size box on sale in Dec 2024.

I couldn't believe it after taking one bite. The Oreo changed compared to my childhood. There was less cream. The cookie felt lighter in weight. There was no crunch sound. My tongue felt foamy. It was like air holes filled part of the texture.

I read the ingredients. A few ingredients include palm oil, cocoa process with alkali, invert sugar, wheat, and soy. There is a bioengineered food ingredient. A marketing ingredient exclusion is no high fructose corn syrup. I choose not to research further the ingredients for the changed Oreo. I'm not eating Oreos. I take my chances on Costco's bakery cookies.

Half Ass Doesn't Work Anymore

I was a high school senior when a classmate told the entire classroom any high school student graduates with a 2.0 grade point average. Students could earn C grades applying 10% of their brain. I don't know if the 10% applies today because high school graduation requirements changed. Expectations are higher. There is more to know. Requirements for college are tougher for college bound students.

Moreover, I'm confident applying up to 50% of the brain doesn't work to be an average success outside school and college. More jobs require more responsibilities. More jobs require more skills. Tell me what jobs Excel are not required. More jobs requiring technical skills require Python programming. Hardware engineers know software engineering, and vice versa. A rising tide raises all boats. Competition is fierce. Retail, janitors, and waiting tables jobs are exempt from the higher expectations and requirements. There is no evolution in cleaning toilets and serving plates with meals.

On The Other Hand, Better Than Nothing

A common sense statement is better to do something compared to do nothing. I agree. Doing something better than nothing is a judgement call depending on the situation, seriousness, timing, and stakes. Half ass doesn't apply to changing a motor vehicle's breaks.

Prove Me Wrong

There were plenty of opportunities decades ago. There were plenty of success pie slices generations ago. Fewer requirements and fewer knowledge required to complete responsibilities. Expectations were easier.

There are fewer opportunities today. The size of the success pie is the same. More people are not going to get a slice. There is more to know. More jobs require getting more done with less time. There is still 24 hours a day. There is still seven days a week. I guarantee them. There is no evolution in time. Humans must sleep.

Update On A Past Blog

I uploaded a better picture for the article My Lunch With 2 Fraudsters: Food For Thought For Investors written by Herb Greenberg for MarketWatch. The article can be viewed at the blog Meet Fraudster Barry Minkow posted on May 5, 2011. "Do not trust--verify," said Minkow.

Reading Books Reinforce Centuries Life Lessons

Blogger's Note: May is pic month. I'm catching up posting pics from my smart phone. Enjoy!

I posted pics of pages from good books I read. Good knowledge. Good wisdom. Good smarts. Books are great indoors during cool windy days. I can go back in time to watch classic anime series drinking a Coke.

No Job Breaks During My Job Search

I share my no breaks job search being long term unemployed in descending order. I forget all phone interviews. Phone interviews are phone interviews. Most of the phone interviews are recruiters instead of hiring managers for contract positions. Long-term unemployed can get job interviews.

*Dec 2019. I was interviewed for a data analyst position in a hardware networking company. A second interview was scheduled in Mar 2020. The reader should know the outcome given the date Mar 2020--the COVID-19 global pandemic. The company announced a hiring freeze.

*Feb 2019. A US based temp agency arranged a phone interview for a six-month data analyst contract. The company produced hardware chips for Internet-Of-Things. I requested a person-to-person interview because I needed to fulfill my due diligence. I experienced bad job opportunities because I failed my research. I was given an offer. I completed the paperwork. The 11th hour the agency said the contract was cancelled. I suspected a director in the division cancelled the contract.

*Aug 2018. The same US based temp agency arranged a business analyst contract for another hardware networking company. I passed the interviews. I passed the Excel test. The hardware networking company choose to hire a contractor internally.

*Nov 2017. A hospital interviewed me for a Customer Product Analyst. The hospital rejected all the candidates. I saw the same job ID with a different job title weeks later.

*Oct 2017. Google interviewed me for a Reporting Analyst II. I found out I was the sixth candidate to be interviewed. The five candidates previously interviewed were rejected because they failed the interview skills test. They must have failed intentionally. I realized why after the interview.

Side note: I took an Excel test during an interview for a low paying contract analyst position decades ago before my current long-term unemployment. The recruiter told me the contractor position was open for weeks. The recruiter must be desperate to fill the position. I arrived at the job site. I realized why the previous job interviewees intentionally failed the Excel test 30 seconds inside the building. High cubicle walls. No sound. Dull air. I forgot the idea of taking any position to strengthen my resume. The contract analyst position likely weakened my resume.

*Nov 2016. I interviewed for a four-month contract position at a software company for hospital information systems. I was interviewed for the incorrect position. Also, the job agency submitted my resume modified to the hiring manager.

*Jul 2016. A Canadian based aerospace company interviewed me for a database coordinator position. The panel interview consisted of all the department employees. The questions didn't match the job description. The technology used was outdated. It was a dead-end job.

*Aug 2013. Interview for a sales support position for a Taiwanese technology and manufacturing company at their Fremont, CA location. The interview was short. The questions asked were irrelevant to my experience. I suspected the hiring manager interviewed the weakest candidates to hire a specific worker. My interview was dead on arrival.

*Aug 2013.. Interview for an analyst position in the accounting department for a Japanese technology and manufacturing company. The interview was at their South San Jose campus. The hiring manager was fired for doing something illegal.

*Oct 2012. The position was a Contract Support Specialist for a biotech company in North San Jose. A friend helped me forward my resume to human resources because she knew someone responsible for hirings. I was approved for a first interview. Unfortunately, there was no interview because the San Jose location was incorrect. The correct location was in the East Coast.

*Sep 2012. I interviewed for an analyst position at my alma mater San Jose State University. I passed the Excel 2003 and Access 2003 exams administered to all job candidates. The actual interview half of the job requirements were not mentioned in the job description. I was unqualified. My interview was dead on arrival.

Top Ten Plus Three Equals Top Thirteen Stupid Blogs

I reread The Three C's: Choices, Consistency, Control blog written on Apr 2, 2013. The blog was about following the three C's to become successful. I was inspired to compile my stupid blogs. Nobody is perfect. Disclosing my stupid blogs is an example of being honest. New lessons or corrected lessons are learned. The Three C's is number one in the top thirteen. Six of the thirteen blogs or 46.2% were in 2013. 2013 was my worse year of written blogs. Here are the top ten plus three equals top thirteen stupid blogs.

13. A Million Dollars Or Your Life (Sep 14, 2013). My brother and I discussed philosophically when we were children do you want a life or a million dollars? We choose life because a million dollars is nothing without a life. Times have changed. Attitudes have changed. Today's lifestyle a million dollars can solve some life problems even in 2013.

12. Raymond's Calendar Year (Jan 17, 2015). I wrote my personal calendar year started on September instead of January with no reasons. Stupid.

11. My 30s Is Like Developing A Baseball Player (Oct 1, 2012). I documented my life when I turned 30 years old in 2004 like a baseball player starting his professional career. I said I'm going to be an all-star starting in 2012. No all-star. I was released from my baseball team in 2013. I'm taking oddball jobs including working the night shift at Costco.

10. My Personal Circle Of Trust (Nov 18, 2017). I wrote I trust myself by creating an inner circle consisting of intuition, a new circle of friends, learning new job skills, staying active, and growing wisdom. Control, Consistency, Choices, and Proactive (CCCP) is also inside my circle of trust. I didn't need to create a trust circle. CCCP is part of the number one in the top thirteen.

9. Bring Back Emotional Thinking (Sep 25, 2013). I don't understand what I wrote when I brought back emotional thinking. I'm still confused rereading the blog.

8. Naivety Is Ageless (Apr 12, 2016). I didn't need to write a blog adults can be naive. I didn't need to write five paragraphs. Perhaps, the point of the blog is the reader becomes naive.

7. Board and Can’t Quit Your Job? Try A New Work Schedule (Dec 2, 2005). I was bored--not board. Anyone can quit. I should have started finding another job instead of requesting a new work schedule. Nothing changed.

6. My Professional Dream Work Environment (Sep 21, 2013). I said open workspaces. Am I kidding myself!?! What other companies besides Google provide free food; free drinks; on-site physical activities, childcare, auto repairs, banking, dry cleaning; and relaxing areas for pool tables, foosball tables, ping pong, and video games. My answer is fewer companies today compared to 2013.

5. High School Fee (Mar 19, 2009). I wrote high school students pay $100.00 each year. Stupid.

4. My Open Cover Letter (Sep 17, 2012). The blog is a job employment cover letter. Don't read it. I'm embarrassed. I was naive. I was stupid.

3. An Extremely Great And Terrible Week (Jan 26, 2013). The blog was many blogs about recent events which should not have been written throughout 2013. These recent events blogs were written just to write a blog. I expressed my frustrations.

2. Give First To Receive Later . . . Wrong (Apr 16, 2006). What I wrote incorrectly was give first, receive later. What I write incorrectly was give something to receive something. There is no automatic receive later. There is no automatic receive something.

1. The Three C's And A P And Two More P's: Choices, Consistency, Control, Proactive, Professional, Personal Responsibility (Apr 2, 2013, May 4, 2013, and Jan 3, 2018). Thank goodness I never answered an interview question with the three C's and the three P's. The three C's and the three P's are the stupidest idea I created.

The Management Job Training Objectives Are Bullshit

The pic above is my objectives for the first six months when I worked at a retail start-up. The store sold high-end wine, beer, and sake at discount prices in the store and online. I worked at the back-end of the store where the inventory was received and stored. My job title was Data Entry/Bookkeeper. The title was misleading. My primary responsibilities were receiving inventory, researching prices, and entering products to the webpage.

The title speaks for itself. The program is self-explanatory. It's bullshit. I share my observations. I share my thoughts.

*Areas of Responsibility (AORs) was mentioned once.

*Nobody received monetary bonuses. Nobody received training for the objectives.

*It was impossible for the front-end workers to enter data. The reason was customer service. The objectives were miscategorized. Financial statements?!? The employees worked in retail.

*I'm not an English major. The writing was terrible. The formatting was inconsistent. Also, management didn't write the sheet. An assistant must have written the objectives. Management approved by a 5 second scan.

*Retail workers earning retail pay were not going to accomplish 80% of the objectives. 20% of the objectives were accomplished naturally such as customer service, knowing the products, and supporting events offsite.

*Management neither encouraged not tracked employee objectives.

*Social media was outdated. Social media rarely marketed upcoming events to their followers. The company didn't employ a marketing specialist.

*Targeted customer e-mails, marketing, web content, artwork, etc.?!? The employees worked in retail.

*Finally, the last bullet point on technical skills not related to webpage. The company was lucky I knew PowerPoint, Excel, Word, SQL, and Access. I used the tools to assist in auditing inventory.

I didn't read the sheet during my employment. If I did, then I probably raise a red flag and begin looking for another job. The store went out of business 6.5 years later. I tip my hat 6.5 years was a long time for a retail business.

I Worked At Bad Companies

Luck is part of the reason people have good careers and people have bad careers. Anyone who says luck is not a factor knows nothing. I worked at five companies after I graduated at San Jose State University. The first two companies were in the commercial real estate industry. The first company went bankrupt which was bought out by a competitor. The second company went corporate for better or for worse. I say better because there was a chance a corporate manager solved their problems optimistically speaking. The third company was Cisco. Cisco was Cisco. Cisco is Cisco. Cisco is an old dinosaur company people still want to work. The fourth company was a retail start-up which went out of business six years later. The fifth company was a growing company with too much politics. My department was one of the worse departments.

Where are the good companies? Companies cared in past generations. Management cared. The workers stayed in one company throughout their careers. They retired in the same company. Companies cared about their workers during retirement. There was professional nurturing. Openness was natural. Employees and management encouraged each other. Wealth spread out. There was support. I got your back. You got my back. Opportunities were plentiful. Today's companies consist of politics, complaining, people care about themselves attitude, and personal shields on the defensive every minute. People who hate their jobs leave the company instead of helping management solve problems. Google or Alphabet is not a good company. The outside public believes Google is a good company. The inside workers tell the contrary stories.

There Are Stories Every Time We Breathe

Today's another too many blog reminders there are stories. There is a story every day. There is a story every second. You don't have a story every day; for example, you don't write to your parents you woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I don't have a story every day. 99.9999% of the daily stories the world doesn't know. There are too many. You don't know them all. I don't know them all. 99.9999% of the 0.001% of the daily stories the world does know the world doesn't care. Almost all of the 0.001% are boring--not newsworthy for anyone's time. Feedbacks, responses, and reactions are opinions. Regardless, live your life by creating stories. Do you best to create intelligent stories.

Update On A Past Blog

Perhaps, there are stories can be another life guarantee. I wrote a blog titled My Six Guarantees on Dec 11, 2021. Benjamin Franklin said two of my six guarantees which are death and taxes. My four guarantees are everyone is weird, everyone changes, everyone has problems, and there are 24 hours in a day and seven days a week.

Schools Give Out An Unlimited A Grades

I admit I'm not an educational professional. If schools want to give out more A's for an easier school day, need to give out more A's while convincing more students to attend classes for more funding, feel less guilty conscious being dishonest, turn off their sincerities, and stop caring, then all of the above are accomplished easily. Students must not be fooled life in the classrooms reflect real life. The purpose of going to school is to learn. Students learn the ABC's and 123's; in particular, college bound high school students prepare for college enrollment taking required classes and exams. Nothing more. Nothing less. Anything taught outside the ABC's and 123's are bonuses and exceptions.

True A graded students learn outside the classroom 365 days a year. True A graded students are not the 3.5's and the 4.0's. Never stop learning. Never stop innovating--innovate infinitely. If students don't participate in athletics, then exercise at home. Read leisure books. Learn life skills such as cooking, tying knots, programming, Excel, changing the oil in a car, running basic PC, and sewing. There's nothing wrong with playing video games, watching movies, and socializing with friends. Know the priorities. Strengthen your self-confidence, self-esteem, socializing skills, and communication skills. Discover motivation. I will is more important than I know. It's okay to make mistakes. Make intelligent mistakes to learn from them. Schools teach none of the above.

The real life is not A grades. The real life is not feel good participation awards. People show up resulting in people succeeding is false. Students attend school whether they like it or not. Students attend school whether they're present or the minds are someplace else. The real life is people don't do anything not feeling up to it. People do quit. People say goodbye. The real life is limited opportunities for too many people.

People should wonder why the big successful people didn't earn A's and B's. They earned C's. Or they dropped out of college such as Bill Gates, the late Steve Jobs, and some professional athletes.

Continue The Lie

I dreamed last night I was a data analyst for an unknown business located in San Jose, CA. I completed a pricing analysis. I didn't analyze. I didn't research. I faked the report. I made up the numbers.

Two co-workers brought to my attention an email from our manager. Our manager was embarrassed. A local university said her presentation was incorrect. The students spent hours past midnight proving the incorrectness. She defended her presentation.

I woke up. I realized I should have continued the dream because I could have lied my way out of my fake analysis. The dream represented today's life. Some people get away with bullshit. I could have escaped my bullshit with more bullshit.

Update On A Past Blog

My dream last night reminded me of the blog Did The Dumb Ass Co-Worker Wanted To Change? on Jul 15, 2009. My dumb ass co-worker faked the statistics for years. He was eventually caught. I was told he found another job in the same industry before he got fired. He was too lucky.

I could follow lesson six by keeping my mouth shut in the Five Minute Management Course written on Jan 12, 2010. Lesson six is three parts. The third part is to be silent when I'm in trouble. Although, lesson five is nobody stays on top lying 100% of the time.

My Favorite Jokes And Riddles

I memorize jokes and riddles to improve my life skills. Jokes and riddles are good ice breakers. Jokes and riddles are good to stop the silence. Search online for jokes and riddles. There are websites posting the best. There are books, too. Here are my favorites below.

Jokes

*Why did the kangaroo stop drinking coffee? She got too jumpy.

*What do you call a classy fish? Sofishticated.

*Knock knock. Who's there? Cow. Cow who? No, silly cows don't say whoo cows say moooooo.

*Why is 6 terrified of 7? Because 7 "8" 9!

*What do you call a boomerang that does not come back? A stick!

*Two muffins in an oven. One says, "sure is hot in here!" Other one says, "Holy smokes! A talking muffin!"

*Why did the orange lose the race? He ran out of juice.

*Why did Tigger stick his head down the toilet? He was looking for Pooh.

*How does Darth Vader like his toast? On the darkside.

*What do you call a bear with no teeth? A Gummy Bear!

*What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investigator.

*Why don't any other shapes talk to circles? Because there's no point.

*Why did the skeleton quit her job? Her heart wasn't in it.

*What did the little corn say to the mama corn? Where is pop corn?

*Where do vampires keep their money? A blood blank.

*Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? To see time fly.

*Why isn't your nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.

*What kind of vegetable is angry? A steamed carrot.

*How do baby cats learn how to swim? The kitty pool.

*What do you call bears with no ears? B. Remove e-a-r-s.

*Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake!

*What did the wolf say when it stubbed its toe? Owwwww-ch!

*Why did the parent hit the cake with a hammer? It was a pound cake.

*How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.

*What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? A frostbite.

*Which fish costs the most? A goldfish!

*Why do bees have sticky hair? Because they use their honeycombs.

*What did the rug say to the floor? Don't move. I have you covered.

*What do you get if you put a mother duck and five ducklings into a box? A box of quackers.

*If two kids share eight pieces of cherry pie, and one kid only gets to eat one piece, what does the other get? A stomach ache.

*Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because you can see right through them.

*What is the surest way to keep water from getting into your house? Don't pay your water bill.

*Why do you want to stand in a corner during a cold day? It's 90 degrees at the corner.

*What do you call a group of whales playing musical instruments? An orca-stra.

*How do you stop an elephant from charging? Take away his credit card.

*Where did the music teacher leave her keys? In the piano.

*What is the capital letter of Italy? I is the capital letter of Italy.

*A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, "We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper says, "You have a drink named Steve?"

*What does a hamster have in common with a cigarette? They're harmless, unless you stick 'em in your mouth and light them on fire.

*What do you call a dead polar bear? Anything you want, it can't hear you anymore.

*Why can't you trust an atom? Because they make up everything.

*There's two whales in a bar. One of them goes: [imitates whale sound] And then the other one goes: "Go home. You're drunk."

*What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

Riddles

*What has eyes, but can't see? A potato!

*What goes up when the rain comes down? An umbrella.

*How do you make a lemon drop? Just let it fall.

*If you drop a yellow hat in the Red Sea, what does it become? Wet.

*What animal is always at a baseball game? A bat.

*What do cakes and baseballs have in common? They both need a batter!

*What does every birthday end with? The letter Y.

*Mr. Red and Ms. Red live in the red house. Mr. Purple and Ms. Purple live in the purple house. Who lives in the white house? The president.

*How many months of the year have 28 days? 12. Every month has at least 28 days.

*What has hands that can't hold and a face that can't smile? A clock.

*Kate's mother has three children: Snap, Crackle and ___? Who is the third child? Kate! She's Kate's mother.

*If you don't keep me, I'll break. What am I? A promise.

*You're running a race and at the very end, you pass the person in 2nd place. What place did you finish the race in? 2nd place. You finished in 2nd place.

*What 2 things can you never eat for breakfast? Lunch and dinner.

*What gets wet as it dries? A towel.

*Two fathers and 2 sons spent the day fishing. They caught 3 fish. This was enough for each of them to have one fish. How is this possible? There were only 3 people fishing. There was one father, his son, and his son's son. There were 2 fathers and 2 sons, since one of them is a father and a son.

*Mrs. Brown has 5 daughters. Each of these daughters has a brother. How many children does Mrs. Brown have? They have 6 children. Each daughter has the same brother. There are 5 daughters and 1 son.

*There are 3 apples in the basket. You take away 2. How many apples do you have now? You have 2 apples. You took away 2 apples and left 1 in the basket.

*I go all around the world never leaving the corner. What am I? A stamp.

*I make a loud sound when I'm changing. When I do change, I get bigger while weighing less. What am I? Popcorn.

*I can fill a room taking up no space. What am I? Light.

*If I have it, I don't share it. If I share it, I don't have it. What is it? A secret.

*What goes away as soon as you talk about it? Silence.

*What can run and can't walk? Water.

*What has one eye that can't see? A needle.

*If an electric train is traveling south, which way is the smoke going? There's no smoke as it's an electric train.

*Imagine you are in a room with no windows or doors. How will you get out? Stop imagining.

*What has a head with no brain? A lettuce.

*The English alphabet goes from A to Z. My name goes from Z to A. What am I? A Zebra.

*How many letters are in the alphabet? 11 letters. There are 11 letters in the phrase "the alphabet."

*What word begins with E and ends with E that has one letter? An envelope.

*What's black and white and read all over? The newspaper.

*What goes up and never comes down? Your age.

*What kind of water doesn't freeze? Hot water.

*What falls and never gets hurt? Snow.

*What has ears and can't hear? A cornfield.

*Four legs up, four legs down, soft in the middle, hard all around. What am I? A bed.

*What has many keys that can't open doors? A piano.

*I have wings, I am able to fly, I'm not a bird yet I soar high in the sky. What am I? An airplane.

*I follow you all the time and copy your every move. You can't touch me. What am I? Your shadow.

*What is orange in color, green on top, and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

*What is yours, yet mostly used by others? Your name.

*Give me a drink, and I will die. Feed me, and I'll get bigger. What am I? A fire.

*If you drop me, I'm sure to crack. Smile at me and I'll smile back. What am I? A mirror.

*Which question can you never answer "yes" to? "Are you asleep?"

*A cowgirl road into town on Friday. Three days later, she left on Friday. How is that possible? Friday is the name of her horse.

*I'm tall when I'm young. I'm short when I'm old. What am I? A candle.

*What's really easy to get into, and hard to get out of? Trouble.

*What has four fingers and a thumb but isn't alive? A glove.

*You cut me, slice me, dice me, and you cry. What am I? An onion.

*What kind of room has no doors or windows? A mushroom.

*What three-letter word is a mousetrap? Cat.

*Who always goes to sleep with his shoes on? A horse.

*What is full of holes holding water? A sponge.

*Where does Monday come before Sunday? In the dictionary.

*What flies all day and never goes anywhere? A flag.

*What goes uphill and downhill, and always stays in the same place? A road.

*What is the highest building in your city? The library has the most stories.

*What table has no legs to stand on? A multiplication table.

*What is too much for one, enough for two, but nothing at all for three? A secret.

*What is it that no one wants to have, but no one wants to lose, either? A lawsuit.

*I am always around but unseen. I am often avoided but never outrun. I could find you at the end of the road or even the next corner. What am I? Death.

*What gets harder to catch the faster you run? Your breath!

*I am an instrument whose music always comes from the heart. What am I? An organ!

*What travels on all fours in the morning, two legs at noon and three at twilight? A man as he grows from a crawling baby into an adult, and finally into an elder with a walking stick!

*What do you throw away yet keeps returning? A boomerang.

*What has neither nails nor bones, yet has four fingers and a thumb? A glove!

*The more you take away from me, the larger I grow. What am I? A hole!

*I have both a head and a tail, but no legs. What am I? A penny, of course.

*Two coins total $0.30. One of the coins is not a nickel. What are the two coins? A quarter and a nickel. The second coin is the nickel.

*There is an elephant and a refrigerator. How does the elephant go inside the refrigerator? Answer is open the door and put the elephant in the refrigerator.

*A pound of feathers or a pound of bowling balls. Which weighs more? None. They're one pound each.

*Which U.S. Presidents are not buried in the United States of America? The ones still living.

New And Old Uncontrolled Chaos

Blogger's Note: May is pic month. I'm catching up posting pics from my smart phone. Enjoy!

Efficient maintenance is important for all objects. Be professional to earn happiness. Nobody controls problems caused by nature. On the other hand, opening a business at a location with a small amount of foot traffic creates future problems.

Update On A Past Blog

I repeat the last life lesson I wrote in Life Lessons Learned Playing Mahjong Riichi written on Mar 18, 2016. The last life lesson is luck. Accept luck as part of the game. Accept bad draws with stride. Accept giving up riichies with stride. There are no reasons to lose temper. An international student from Japan told me professional players who finished last place multiple times consecutively stopped playing for the rest of the day.

Some People Don't Change

Today I said the title for the first time in my life. I said, "Some people don't change" for the first time in my life. I can't explain why. I don't have a reason. Perhaps, I'm too optimistic people can change for the better. Perhaps, I'm too naive there is good in people they can change for the better. I'm not talking about people changing due to unfortunate circumstances such as a car accident, death in a family, a natural disaster, or a lawsuit. I'm not talking about people changing outside their control such as a heart attack, an end of a relationship, a job loss, or a rejection. I'm talking a person with personal problems affecting daily life.

The person himself or herself makes the choice to change. Nobody can convince the other person to change. Why do some alcoholics remain alcoholics? Why do some drug addicts remain drug addicts? Why do some unemployed remain unemployed for which they don't job search? Why do lazy people remain lazy? Why do some abusers remain abusers? Why does a person refuse to change? My guesses are weakness, cowardice, denial, poor self-esteem, lack of motivation, no support, not follow the rules, despair, and/or money problems. Another guess is some people are changing for which they go nowhere. Life somehow moves these people backwards beyond their control resulting in quitting. Change is impossible. Life is over.

Update On A Past Blog

There was a day I felt no change in my life after I realized I must grow up on Sat Oct 4, 2008. I wrote Change Says No To Raymond Mar on Oct 18, 2017. I was still unemployed and living with my parents like the loser George Costanza from Seinfeld. No freedom was the reason change said no.

On the other hand, I wrote blogs I changed. These blogs were not the life changing freedom I desire. Some of the blogs are the following: Top Ten Daily Changes After O'Connor Hospital on Oct 21, 2017 after my two surgeries in Apr 2017, Top Ten Little Changes Since Oct 2013 on Jun 27, 2019 small changes making a big impact, The Correction To The Correct Growing Up Part 2 on Oct 7, 2020 reminding and updating I grew up on Sat Oct 4, 2008 and taking back the second time I grew up on Dec 2012, and Top Ten I Get It Now on Nov 21, 2020 past wisdom and knowledge I fully understand such as the late Steve Jobs "stay hungry, stay foolish", The Shawshank Redemption "geology is the study of pressure and time", Good Will Hunting "it's not your fault", and desire is more important than knowledge.

No Need To Look At My Poker Hand I Keep The Cards

An anime meme pic I created from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Episode Adventure 10 D'Arby The Gambler. Jotaro Kujo vs. Daniel J. D'Arby in heads-up poker.

Kick The Can Down The Road

There are problems in government. Local government. State government. Federal government. Problems are nothing new. There were problems yesterday. There are problems today. There are problems tomorrow. There are economic problems. There is too much cash in the world economy. Feel free to criticize. All concerns of a global recession or a global inflation are valid. Is the economy in a recession or is the economy in an inflation presently speaking? The question is debatable.

The feelings many of today's leaders are the following: not my problem, move along, not now, do it another day, and live the present. They're concern for themselves now. They're concern for themselves today. Earn the easy wins. Ignore the hard problems. Hope the hard problems solve themselves. Sometimes ignoring works. Sometimes ignoring doesn't work. The late Steve Jobs ignored his health problems. The costs were his life.

Be careful criticizing and complaining other people kicking the can down the road. You may be kicking your cans down multiple roads. Are you ignoring your problems? I ignored my problems decades ago. I'm paying the price today. Don't overstress. Solve personal problems one at a time.

Your Hiring Manager Doesn't Train In Excel

The Catch-22 job market interview exists today. How does a job candidate get experience if he or she doesn't get hired to get experience? The Catch-22 job market interview existed yesterday. The Catch-22 job market interview exists tomorrow.

Many white-collar jobs require Excel. Give it time in today's Information Age. Up to 99% of white-collar jobs require Excel. No Excel. No job offer. No X skills. No job offer. Many jobs require past job experience. Hiring managers don't have time to train. It's not the hiring manager's fault. Blame the job market interview system. Blame the Information Age. Blame life. More jobs require more skills. More jobs require more experience. More skills require time to learn. More skills require money to learn. More skills require for more experience. Hiring managers and department co-workers neither have the time nor the patience to train because they have too many responsibilities. The company is unlikely to train because training costs money. There is someone in the job market with the skills and experience. Hire the person. Plug and play. Moreover, it's embarrassing to the job candidate the job description failed to disclose the skills and experience required during the interview process for which the job candidate doesn't have the skills and experience. "Why am I being interviewed," said the job candidate inside his or her head.

There Are Exceptions With Luck

I speak from experience. Job candidates hired may be lucky their hiring manager provides training. I was offered training by my hiring manager for two job interviews for which I was hired in one interview. The job I worked my hiring manager trained me in front-end Salesforce which was easy. The job I didn't work the hiring manager offered training in Salesforce reporting.

SOMT: The 2022 Business Analyst Is Not The 2007 Business Analyst

Blogger's Note: SOMT stands for Sign Of My Times, an occasional blog sharing my thoughts how time changes life from when I was young to today.

I worked at Cisco as a contractor Business Analyst in 2007. The one job requirement was Crystal Reports. All other job requirements were secondary such as Excel, Word, and Outlook. Times were easier decades ago.

Times have changed. Job requirements have changed. Job expectations have changed. Some business analyst job titles are renamed business analytics. Business Analytics or the like is a fancy way of saying a business analyst with advanced technical skills. I received an email for a fulltime BI Analytics or Business Intelligence Analyst position. The job description is the pic above. Some of today's business analysts require more than Excel, reporting, and analyzing. They require database skills such as SQL and Oracle. They require programming skills such as Python and Java. They require more than basic statistics mean, median, mode, and rank. They require reporting and dashboards software skills such as Tableau and Power BI. Forget Crystal Reports. I see a few positions requiring Linux, HTML, JavaScript, and knowing a text editor. I see a few positions going for the home run requiring supply chain, accounting, and/or finance. On the other hand, I see fewer positions requiring Salesforce. The key skills requirement importance 1-5 might as well be all 5's. The second page is the disclaimer and contact information.

Another change is contractor companies or recruiter companies search for full time employees. Be cautious. Some contractor companies or recruiter companies find job postings online instead of being contracted directly by companies to find a fulltime employee; in other words, unsolicited full-time job candidates. They hope the job candidate is hired for which the company receives compensation. Company career web pages post no third-party recruiters on their job openings.