My latest pics from my phone. No food pics. There is the Golden Gate Bridge. Enjoy!
My blog innovates and improves life’s common knowledge. The successful people find ways doing something better. They innovate their lives infinitely. Bruce Lee said it best, “Even today, I dare not say that I have reached a state of achievement . . . for learning is boundless.” I encourage people to seek better ways. Life gets better every day. I share my highlights, my lighter side, my current events, a question, and an opinion.
Friday, February 28, 2014
Wednesday, February 26, 2014
I Blog, You Comment Wed Feb 26, 2014
I share some comments, opinions, and feedback from my blogs for the first time. I appreciate those who took the extra effort to find an email address at my webpage Innovate Infinitely. I create a new email address for the readers to provide comments easier soon.
I blogged about me not being a dumb child titled I Wasn't A Dumb Child After All (Sat Aug 3, 2013). I said my parents were terrible teachers.
Was going back to college worth it? I asked myself the question Maybe Going Back To College Was Worth It (Mon Sep 9, 2013).
I received congrats and phrases for celebrating my five year anniversary I grew up. The blog was Five Years Ago Today I Grew Up (Fri Oct 4, 2013).
The power of believing is important. I found the power again in This Is My Leap Of Faith (Wed Oct 9, 2013).
The feedback for The Correct Growing Up Part 2 (Mon Oct 28, 2013).
I blogged about me not being a dumb child titled I Wasn't A Dumb Child After All (Sat Aug 3, 2013). I said my parents were terrible teachers.
Did you watch Good Will Hunting? It's not your fault. --Pam Moore, Florence, SC
You're not the only son who has trouble understanding their parents when it comes to teaching. My parents were terrible teachers. They didn't want to teach me. Heck, they didn't want to spend bonding time with me! --Dave Hicks, Chandler, AZ
Was going back to college worth it? I asked myself the question Maybe Going Back To College Was Worth It (Mon Sep 9, 2013).
Good choice going back to college. Nobody was hiring in 2009. It took me three years to find a job during the Great Recession. What a waste doing nothing during that time. --Ron, New York, NY
Accounting was a stupid major. You should have majored in computers or technology or something related to computers. You need a CPA or a B.A. in accounting if you want a career in accounting. --Brad Mole, Akron, OH
You learned more about who you are. That's much better than any AA degree. You're a better person today. Kudos! --isee789 via email
I'm 45. My college life sucked. Today's college students have it made with the internet and Wiki. It's easier to meet new people with Facebook, mobile phones, and emails. I'm happy you were able to live like a 20 year old again. --Beth, Modesto, CA
I received congrats and phrases for celebrating my five year anniversary I grew up. The blog was Five Years Ago Today I Grew Up (Fri Oct 4, 2013).
I'm 63 years old. A month ago I took my head out my ass. Life is much better today. I reconciled with my children and apologized to my ex-wife for being a total jack-ass. My children are starting to let me see my grandchildren. If I die tomorrow, I die peacefully. --Mike Iola, Vicksburg, MS
Better late than never to grow up. Congrats big time sir. --Steve Oldermeyer, Lansdowne, PA
The power of believing is important. I found the power again in This Is My Leap Of Faith (Wed Oct 9, 2013).
I bet your life is better today, right now. -Mary G via email
I'm a middle school guidance counselor. Where are the parents today who are failing to tell their sons and/or daughters to believe in themselves? I'm seeing more students each school year lacking self confidence and self esteem. I wonder if that's related to school bullying how some students are just easy targets for these bullies. Ironically, these bullies also lack self confidence and self esteem. --Rachel Morris, Twin Falls, ID
Congratulations on finding your faith, your inner believing in yourself. Now you can do whatever you want. Find your next goals and do them with full faith in yourself. The world believes in you now my friend. --Sam via email.
The world needs faith, I think the world lost it. --iluvcookies via email.
The feedback for The Correct Growing Up Part 2 (Mon Oct 28, 2013).
It sounded like 2013 was a bad year. The downfall started before the 2013 year began. It seemed 2013 ended on a good note because you're working again. I hope you never experience another 2013 again. --Summer Paul, Fort Worth, TX
I disagree. Life is supposed to be fun. When you find a job, you're not going to regret those days of fun, carefree . . . and days you created fun memories. Once you work full-time, you life is over. You're going to cherish those days of nonworking because, if done correctly, you're going to be a stronger person with more wisdom. --Ron Baldwin via email
Those life lessons of priorities, leap of faith, being discrete, and (life) goals are not taught at schools. Your parents didn't teach you those too. I don't know who to blame. You should feel proud of yourself. I would [spend] a million bucks for those life lessons. Just remember those four life lessons for the rest of your life. You'll be fine. --Wang Quan, Seattle, WA
I could relate to not getting the job at Google. I interviewed for a junior executive position. It turned out I didn't get the job because my references were inaccurate. I never thought the hiring manager would call them. It was the first time ever somebody called my references. First time! That tells you how tough the job market is. Those companies can be picky who they want to hire. The competition is stiff. You better have everything in order for the interview. --Walter Shoemaker, San Francisco
There is no such thing as a work-life balance. We live in America. Americans like to work. Americans enjoy working. Sad, but true. --Taylor McKenzie via email
Now that's how your job search. It's a full time job. You search for a job. When you're not searching for a job, you improve your job skills. Or learn new job skills. I hope the hard work pays off by finding a job. Good luck! --tpump90 via email
I can't wait to read another growing up moment. You're so young you have more wisdom to learn. I'm reading your blogs to find out soon. --Mychelle Brandy, Philadelphia, PA
Tuesday, February 25, 2014
Do Boring People Exist?
A person is not boring when he or she is doing something such as work, leisure, being with people, or raising the family. What am I going to do today? I believe a person who can't answer the question is not boring; rather, a person has too much time in their hands. There is a lack of motivation to do something, anything. There is no inspiration to do something, anything new. He or she rather takes it too easy instead of being busy.
A bored person is someone who does a task, a responsibility, a job, an activity with no heart. There is a lack of effort. There is no enthusiasm. The person doesn't care what's happening at the moment. The job is completed satisfactory without satisfaction like a boring teacher. The lesson is taught. The teaching methods and the teacher explaining the concepts are without care. The job is done. There is no emphasizes on quality. It's like cooking a meal with no seasonings, and pre-cook preparation. It's like a birthday cake without frosting and colorful decorations. It's not what he or she does. It's not who he or she are with. It's how a person presents himself or herself and their actions determine what other people think bored or not bored. Do everything honestly, professionally, and with a smile.
Moreover, I believe boring is relative and subjective. There are tier levels or different degree of boringness. Who are the people with you? What are you doing at the present moment? Where are you? How are you presenting yourself? The people who relates to what you're doing, where you're doing, and how you're doing determines you're bored or not bored. Some people say you're bored. Some people say you're not bored. For instance, I'm going to be bored watching bird documentaries on YouTube. On other hand, I'm going to be excited watching highlights from past professional sporting events on YouTube. Here are examples when I'm with my friends. I'm bored when my friends talk about video games. On the other hand, my friends and I are excited when we play board games together. My friends are bored when I talk about sports and reading books.
More People In Your Life
A good test to determine if you're a boring person is how many people enjoy your company. The people include friends, family, and acquaintances. Another test is how many new people you meet remain in your life for an appropriate duration. You're a good person with good company, an active life, and the number of people remaining in your life increases indefinitely means you're not a boring person.
A bored person is someone who does a task, a responsibility, a job, an activity with no heart. There is a lack of effort. There is no enthusiasm. The person doesn't care what's happening at the moment. The job is completed satisfactory without satisfaction like a boring teacher. The lesson is taught. The teaching methods and the teacher explaining the concepts are without care. The job is done. There is no emphasizes on quality. It's like cooking a meal with no seasonings, and pre-cook preparation. It's like a birthday cake without frosting and colorful decorations. It's not what he or she does. It's not who he or she are with. It's how a person presents himself or herself and their actions determine what other people think bored or not bored. Do everything honestly, professionally, and with a smile.
Moreover, I believe boring is relative and subjective. There are tier levels or different degree of boringness. Who are the people with you? What are you doing at the present moment? Where are you? How are you presenting yourself? The people who relates to what you're doing, where you're doing, and how you're doing determines you're bored or not bored. Some people say you're bored. Some people say you're not bored. For instance, I'm going to be bored watching bird documentaries on YouTube. On other hand, I'm going to be excited watching highlights from past professional sporting events on YouTube. Here are examples when I'm with my friends. I'm bored when my friends talk about video games. On the other hand, my friends and I are excited when we play board games together. My friends are bored when I talk about sports and reading books.
More People In Your Life
A good test to determine if you're a boring person is how many people enjoy your company. The people include friends, family, and acquaintances. Another test is how many new people you meet remain in your life for an appropriate duration. You're a good person with good company, an active life, and the number of people remaining in your life increases indefinitely means you're not a boring person.
Labels:
Active,
Boredom,
Enthusiasm,
Good Guy,
Good Idea,
Growing Up,
Honesty,
Lazy,
Life,
Living The Present,
Meet People,
People,
Perception,
Philosophy,
Self Image,
Self Improvement,
Win Friends
Monday, February 24, 2014
Work Feb 24, 2014
I went to an auto shop before work to remove a screw on my driver's side front on Wed Feb 12. Fortunately, the screw didn't penetrate inside the tire. There was a tasting for invited guests only. I drank Champagne for the first time with a co-worker and her guest. I entered lots of beers which arrived today in the database. I ordered Broccoli Beef takeout at a Chinese restaurant. And I learned how to open the back roll-up door the proper way. There is a tactical way to open the door to protect myself in case somebody wants to commit a crime.
My manager was in a bad mood the entire Thur Feb 13 day. The shipping clerk added fuel to the fire by spilling a case of wine. One bottle broke. I assisted in helping him clean the mess. The manager was in a bad mood . . . yeah, duh. I was being sympathetic. It was the last day I wore good shoes to work because I don't want any spills on my shoes.
My Fri Feb 14 shift was at the second store. Six people registered for today's tasting. The co-owner was surprised 20-25 people attended the tasting. It was busy from the afternoon to closing. I never caught up on my work.
There was a salesman who waited for the co-owner to arrive for the tasting. The salesman was impatient and exited the store. He gave me marketing brochures which I kept them at the back table. I learned that the co-owners talk to sale representatives on Mon and Tue.
There was light traffic on Mon Feb 17 because of President's Day. My manager told me a long-time customer and his wife were in a snowmobile accident. The husband died and the wife was in a coma. They have two children in college. The husband worked at Apple in a high level position. The manager, the shipping clerk, and I talked about the accident for ten minutes. My entire work day consisted of catching up with emails and price research.
I rang up my first customer at the front-end register on Tue Feb 18. He purchased beers. I worked at the front-end because somebody was using my desk. There were no deliveries on a Tue which was a big advantage to continue catching up. I started to read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert during my lunch hour.
I arrived to work 20 minutes late because there was an accident on the freeway on Wed Feb 19. I drove an alternate route. I made up the 20 minutes arrive work late by staying 20 minutes later than my ending shift time. 25 minutes late is my worse arrival time.
Thur Feb 20 was a physically, emotionally, and financially painful day. My manager and the assistant manager injured their backs. The assistant manager went home early. I arrived to work late which I shouldn't. There was a four-way stop sign intersection. The right-of-way driver waited 5 seconds. My entire commute consisted of 100% red lights at all signaled intersections. I kept my cool throughout my drive; however, there was frustration. The shipping clerk failed to accurately receive a shipment. Two cases were missing.
The two managers took an extended late lunch hour to attend a tasting the owner encouraged them to attend. The store operations were normal. My final task of the day was helping a customer carry her case of wine to her car for the first time. We small talked from the exit to her car. She was open and personal such that she asked me personal questions.
My manager helped me with my backlog before he went to the tasting. It was a huge help because I was 90% completed on my backlog on Fri Feb 21. I established a system where I received all second store invoices and put them in a folder for the co-owner to pick up and then give to the bookkeeper.
The second store was short-handed because the owner from the first store took one of our staff to cover for the assistant manager. I conversed with the assistant manager regarding staffing problems. One of our full-time staff moved to Seattle because she got divorced. Both stores are short-handed. Both stores are hiring. There are potentials hires working soon.
I worked at the tasting room for most of the day. The co-owner who works in the tasting room was on a business trip with his other co-owner. I followed the US vs. Canada Olympics semi-finals on the internet.
The co-owners being out of town was another reason why I was 90% caught up. Today was an example such that managers should leave their subordinates alone. Work and assignments are completed in time. Tasks are finished.
The shipping clerk transported the wines we needed for today's tasting. It was the first time he visited the second store.
One of my co-workers says March and April are going to be busy months. New wine vintages are released.
My manager was in a bad mood the entire Thur Feb 13 day. The shipping clerk added fuel to the fire by spilling a case of wine. One bottle broke. I assisted in helping him clean the mess. The manager was in a bad mood . . . yeah, duh. I was being sympathetic. It was the last day I wore good shoes to work because I don't want any spills on my shoes.
My Fri Feb 14 shift was at the second store. Six people registered for today's tasting. The co-owner was surprised 20-25 people attended the tasting. It was busy from the afternoon to closing. I never caught up on my work.
There was a salesman who waited for the co-owner to arrive for the tasting. The salesman was impatient and exited the store. He gave me marketing brochures which I kept them at the back table. I learned that the co-owners talk to sale representatives on Mon and Tue.
There was light traffic on Mon Feb 17 because of President's Day. My manager told me a long-time customer and his wife were in a snowmobile accident. The husband died and the wife was in a coma. They have two children in college. The husband worked at Apple in a high level position. The manager, the shipping clerk, and I talked about the accident for ten minutes. My entire work day consisted of catching up with emails and price research.
I rang up my first customer at the front-end register on Tue Feb 18. He purchased beers. I worked at the front-end because somebody was using my desk. There were no deliveries on a Tue which was a big advantage to continue catching up. I started to read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert during my lunch hour.
I arrived to work 20 minutes late because there was an accident on the freeway on Wed Feb 19. I drove an alternate route. I made up the 20 minutes arrive work late by staying 20 minutes later than my ending shift time. 25 minutes late is my worse arrival time.
Thur Feb 20 was a physically, emotionally, and financially painful day. My manager and the assistant manager injured their backs. The assistant manager went home early. I arrived to work late which I shouldn't. There was a four-way stop sign intersection. The right-of-way driver waited 5 seconds. My entire commute consisted of 100% red lights at all signaled intersections. I kept my cool throughout my drive; however, there was frustration. The shipping clerk failed to accurately receive a shipment. Two cases were missing.
The two managers took an extended late lunch hour to attend a tasting the owner encouraged them to attend. The store operations were normal. My final task of the day was helping a customer carry her case of wine to her car for the first time. We small talked from the exit to her car. She was open and personal such that she asked me personal questions.
My manager helped me with my backlog before he went to the tasting. It was a huge help because I was 90% completed on my backlog on Fri Feb 21. I established a system where I received all second store invoices and put them in a folder for the co-owner to pick up and then give to the bookkeeper.
The second store was short-handed because the owner from the first store took one of our staff to cover for the assistant manager. I conversed with the assistant manager regarding staffing problems. One of our full-time staff moved to Seattle because she got divorced. Both stores are short-handed. Both stores are hiring. There are potentials hires working soon.
I worked at the tasting room for most of the day. The co-owner who works in the tasting room was on a business trip with his other co-owner. I followed the US vs. Canada Olympics semi-finals on the internet.
The co-owners being out of town was another reason why I was 90% caught up. Today was an example such that managers should leave their subordinates alone. Work and assignments are completed in time. Tasks are finished.
The shipping clerk transported the wines we needed for today's tasting. It was the first time he visited the second store.
One of my co-workers says March and April are going to be busy months. New wine vintages are released.
Saturday, February 22, 2014
Job Searching: Updated My Resumes And Job Profiles
I work full time I started on Wed Nov 20 at a start up retail company. One benefit working is I stopped job searching. I searched for a job too long. I was tired finding job openings, sending resume, and interviewing.
I updated my resume and online job profiles to reflect my current employment status. The first updates were the online job posting websites which are Careerbuilder, Monster, and Careercenter San Jose State University. The second updates were companies I created a job profile to search for jobs posted on their career section. Some of the companies I applied directly include eBay, Cisco, Google, Adobe, PG&E, Clorox, Stanford, and Symantec. I also applied to temporary and contractor agencies which include Kelly Services, Accountemps, and Randstad. The third updates were job search engine companies which are Indeed, Dice, SimplyHired, and Glassdoor. The final update was my LinkedIn. I add bullet points detailing my responsibilities, accomplishments, and new skills to my resume later because I have more to learn.
I continue to receive emails from job agencies and companies. I also receive phone calls from recruiters. I always keep my job opportunities open. There is always a better job.
I updated my resume and online job profiles to reflect my current employment status. The first updates were the online job posting websites which are Careerbuilder, Monster, and Careercenter San Jose State University. The second updates were companies I created a job profile to search for jobs posted on their career section. Some of the companies I applied directly include eBay, Cisco, Google, Adobe, PG&E, Clorox, Stanford, and Symantec. I also applied to temporary and contractor agencies which include Kelly Services, Accountemps, and Randstad. The third updates were job search engine companies which are Indeed, Dice, SimplyHired, and Glassdoor. The final update was my LinkedIn. I add bullet points detailing my responsibilities, accomplishments, and new skills to my resume later because I have more to learn.
I continue to receive emails from job agencies and companies. I also receive phone calls from recruiters. I always keep my job opportunities open. There is always a better job.
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Work Feb 11, 2014
The second store was burglarized on Sun Jan 26. The co-owners spent the entire Mon Jan 27 with law enforcement and with their handymen contractors to repair the damages. Total damages and inventory lost were over $10,000.
I changed my breakfast routine on Tue Jan 28. I reduced eating bread 50%. As of the blog entry, I lost two pounds. I eat cereal, one piece of bread, almonds or walnuts, milk, and fruit. The second manager came back to work after his business trip.
One of my co-workers spilled a bottle of wine on Wed Jan 29. It was difficult to clean up the floor. The narrow aisles limited maneuverability and the number of staff assisting. The golden rule is don't drop bottles.
The same co-worker cleared some boxes to open a window inside the enclosed office at the back end of the store. The window was closed since I started working. The breeze felt good. We also had a conversation on death during my lunch hour.
There was an accident on my way home. It was my first evening accident. I was on the road for 40 minutes. The normal time is 25 minutes.
I worked at the second store on Fri Jan 31. I was told two customers told one of my co-workers there were suspicious customers videotaping the store. The customers wrote their car's license plate.
I arrived on time after getting my tires rotated and balanced. Everyone's shift started late because the store was inspected by the city. The co-owner told me and my staff before we entered the building to occupy ourselves and wait for a phone call. I shopped at Trader Joe's for snacks to eat on Super Bowl Sunday. I drove to downtown to visit the library and mail a letter at a drop off mailbox. I purchased used books at the library's used book store.
The store reopened at 12:10pm. There was chaos, misinformation, and confusion. It was crazy. We found out the inventory needed for today's activity was delivered to the first store. We had to wait for someone to deliver the inventory before the activity started. Fortunately, the inventory arrived in time. Everyone was tired at the end of their shifts. I experienced pain throughout my body.
The entire week of Feb 3-7 was busy, busy, and busy. We talked about the Super Bowl when we have a few minutes of break time. I even took two 30 minute lunches. I went to the dentist before my shift on Wed Feb 5. I got gas afterwards. I used the extra time commuting by driving on a city road exiting the freeway early. I discovered a hospital and supermarkets I could shop on my way home.
Thur Feb 6 was the worst day of the week. The owner slammed the entire staff and managers with an email special. She took advantage of a close out from a vendor. She passed along the cost savings on an email special. We sold out within hours. I continued to get slammed making sure all inventory were priced and on the website for both stores. There were hours I didn't check my email. My unread inbox reached the middle 90s.
I started using my laptop bag when I worked at Cisco. No more Microsoft tote bag. I brought my laptop to transport my company's laptop to the second store for my Fri shifts. The laptop bag has more space for my papers. There was no need to bring two bags.
I got my car's alignment checked before my second store shift on Fri Feb 7. It was the easiest day of the week, yet I was still busy. More customers shopped today compared to the previous two Fridays. There was a salesman from a distributor who wanted to sell his products. He couldn't wait for the co-owner. He exited the store after waiting for 20 minutes.
He's the man. I small talked with one of my co-workers on Tue Feb 11. He has a full-time job and a part-time job. The part-time is my company. I call him a man because he's married with two children. Working two jobs tells me he's a devoted husband and father.
I changed my breakfast routine on Tue Jan 28. I reduced eating bread 50%. As of the blog entry, I lost two pounds. I eat cereal, one piece of bread, almonds or walnuts, milk, and fruit. The second manager came back to work after his business trip.
One of my co-workers spilled a bottle of wine on Wed Jan 29. It was difficult to clean up the floor. The narrow aisles limited maneuverability and the number of staff assisting. The golden rule is don't drop bottles.
The same co-worker cleared some boxes to open a window inside the enclosed office at the back end of the store. The window was closed since I started working. The breeze felt good. We also had a conversation on death during my lunch hour.
There was an accident on my way home. It was my first evening accident. I was on the road for 40 minutes. The normal time is 25 minutes.
I worked at the second store on Fri Jan 31. I was told two customers told one of my co-workers there were suspicious customers videotaping the store. The customers wrote their car's license plate.
I arrived on time after getting my tires rotated and balanced. Everyone's shift started late because the store was inspected by the city. The co-owner told me and my staff before we entered the building to occupy ourselves and wait for a phone call. I shopped at Trader Joe's for snacks to eat on Super Bowl Sunday. I drove to downtown to visit the library and mail a letter at a drop off mailbox. I purchased used books at the library's used book store.
The store reopened at 12:10pm. There was chaos, misinformation, and confusion. It was crazy. We found out the inventory needed for today's activity was delivered to the first store. We had to wait for someone to deliver the inventory before the activity started. Fortunately, the inventory arrived in time. Everyone was tired at the end of their shifts. I experienced pain throughout my body.
The entire week of Feb 3-7 was busy, busy, and busy. We talked about the Super Bowl when we have a few minutes of break time. I even took two 30 minute lunches. I went to the dentist before my shift on Wed Feb 5. I got gas afterwards. I used the extra time commuting by driving on a city road exiting the freeway early. I discovered a hospital and supermarkets I could shop on my way home.
Thur Feb 6 was the worst day of the week. The owner slammed the entire staff and managers with an email special. She took advantage of a close out from a vendor. She passed along the cost savings on an email special. We sold out within hours. I continued to get slammed making sure all inventory were priced and on the website for both stores. There were hours I didn't check my email. My unread inbox reached the middle 90s.
I started using my laptop bag when I worked at Cisco. No more Microsoft tote bag. I brought my laptop to transport my company's laptop to the second store for my Fri shifts. The laptop bag has more space for my papers. There was no need to bring two bags.
I got my car's alignment checked before my second store shift on Fri Feb 7. It was the easiest day of the week, yet I was still busy. More customers shopped today compared to the previous two Fridays. There was a salesman from a distributor who wanted to sell his products. He couldn't wait for the co-owner. He exited the store after waiting for 20 minutes.
He's the man. I small talked with one of my co-workers on Tue Feb 11. He has a full-time job and a part-time job. The part-time is my company. I call him a man because he's married with two children. Working two jobs tells me he's a devoted husband and father.
Saturday, February 08, 2014
Five Pillars Along My Back
The picture above illustrates my mind thinking my back is straight supported by five pillars. Good posture is important to live a healthy life. I want to minimize back problems. I have experienced back pain and soreness. My body recovers quickly.
Working out at the gym significantly helps keep my back strength. I lift weights which strengthens my back muscles. Another reason to get physical is lowering the chances of back problems.
A straight and strong back gives me an attractive physical appearance. Solid body language is important in professional and social situations. People want to be with strong, confident, and attractive people. I want to tell people I control what I can control. Devote time to improve and maintain good posture.
Finally, rule #6 of my daily rules of living is breathe with your nose and stand up straight. The rule #6 and picturing the five pillars along my back reminds me to keep my back straight.
Sunday, February 02, 2014
Good Jokes Men Must Know
Don Steinberg wrote a book titled, "Jokes: Every Men Should Know." He wrote in the introduction that "there's nothing wrong with having a stash of great jokes ready to go. The right joke in the right social situation can be pure gold." He stated, "The only joke book you'll ever need." I'm going to share three of the jokes in his book. I hope to encourage adults to buy the book or, at least, know some good jokes—really good jokes. The book cover is small and black like the size of a man's black book. Good marketing.
1. On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual to greet the passengers. He tells them their altitude, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather. He advises them to relax and have a good flight.
Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his copilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob."
All of the passengers hear it.
As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says, "Don't forget the coffee!"
2. An older guy goes to the doctor's office to ask about getting a prescription for Viagra.
He's in the waiting room when the woman at the reception desk calls his name and says, for everyone to hear, "Mr. Frazier. You're here to see the doctor about your impotence, right?"
The guy is mortified.
"No," he says, just as loudly. "I'm looking into getting a sex change operation, and I was hoping to get the same doctor who did yours."
3. A businessman flew to Las Vegas for a convention, gambled, and lost almost everything. He had nothing left but a couple dollars and a return plane ticket. If he could just get to the airport, he could get home.
He went out of the front of the casino, got in a cab, and explained his situation to the driver. He promised to send fare money from home. He offered up his credit card numbers, his driver's license number, and his address.
But the cabbie said: "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out." So the businessman had to hitchhike to the airport.
A year later, the businessman has worked hard to make back his money. He returns to Vegas and this time, he wins big. He goes out to the front of the casino to get a cab to the airport. He looks around and, sure enough, at the back of the taxi line, there's the same driver who refused to give him a ride.
The businessman thinks for a moment about how he could get revenge. He gets in the first cab in the long line and asks the driver: "How much for a ride to the airport?"
"Fifteen bucks," comes the reply.
"And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?"
"What? Get outta here!" the driver shouts.
The businessman tries each and every cab in line. He always asks the same questions, and every driver has the same responses.
When he reaches his original cab driver at the back of the line, he gets in and asks, "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replies, "Fifteen bucks." The businessman says, "OK", and off they go.
Then, as they drive slowly past the long lines of cabs, the businessman gives each driver a huge grin and a thumbs-up.
1. On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual to greet the passengers. He tells them their altitude, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather. He advises them to relax and have a good flight.
Then, forgetting to turn off the microphone, he says to his copilot, "What would relax me right now is a cup of coffee and a blowjob."
All of the passengers hear it.
As a stewardess immediately begins to run toward the cockpit to tell the pilot of his slip-up, one of the passengers stops her and says, "Don't forget the coffee!"
2. An older guy goes to the doctor's office to ask about getting a prescription for Viagra.
He's in the waiting room when the woman at the reception desk calls his name and says, for everyone to hear, "Mr. Frazier. You're here to see the doctor about your impotence, right?"
The guy is mortified.
"No," he says, just as loudly. "I'm looking into getting a sex change operation, and I was hoping to get the same doctor who did yours."
3. A businessman flew to Las Vegas for a convention, gambled, and lost almost everything. He had nothing left but a couple dollars and a return plane ticket. If he could just get to the airport, he could get home.
He went out of the front of the casino, got in a cab, and explained his situation to the driver. He promised to send fare money from home. He offered up his credit card numbers, his driver's license number, and his address.
But the cabbie said: "If you don't have fifteen dollars, get the hell out." So the businessman had to hitchhike to the airport.
A year later, the businessman has worked hard to make back his money. He returns to Vegas and this time, he wins big. He goes out to the front of the casino to get a cab to the airport. He looks around and, sure enough, at the back of the taxi line, there's the same driver who refused to give him a ride.
The businessman thinks for a moment about how he could get revenge. He gets in the first cab in the long line and asks the driver: "How much for a ride to the airport?"
"Fifteen bucks," comes the reply.
"And how much for you to give me a blowjob on the way?"
"What? Get outta here!" the driver shouts.
The businessman tries each and every cab in line. He always asks the same questions, and every driver has the same responses.
When he reaches his original cab driver at the back of the line, he gets in and asks, "How much for a ride to the airport?" The cabbie replies, "Fifteen bucks." The businessman says, "OK", and off they go.
Then, as they drive slowly past the long lines of cabs, the businessman gives each driver a huge grin and a thumbs-up.
Saturday, February 01, 2014
My Favorite Classic Sesame Street
Here are some of my favorite classics. Watch them now before YouTube removes some of them.
Cookie Monster In The Library: LOL at 0:16
Diana Ross and Big Bird Sings "Believe In Yourself"
Kermit And Joey Sings The Alphabet
Prairie Dawn's School Pageant: Seasons
Number 10 Song
Guy Smiley: Beat The Time with Cookie Monster
Number 10 Song: The Baker
How Crayons Are Made
Ernie Sings "I Don't Want To Live On The Moon"
Grover Discos The Alphabet: Are you ready for the king, girls?
Kermit The Frog Reports The News On Rapunzel
Waiter Grover Serves A Hamburger To Fat Blue
Cookie Monster Asks Questions To Prairie Dawn
Eleven O'Clock, Time To Get Up
Classic Sesame Street Episode "Sing"
Song "There's a Hole in the Bucket"
Ernie And Bert: Bert's It
Kermit The Frog: He ordered the Kermit the Gorf t-shirt
The Count Counts To Nine: Check out the counting jukebox
Oscar Gets A Cell Phone
Ernie Counts Cups And Saucers: Bert as usual worries
Fat Cat Sat Hat
Grover And Madeline Kahn Sings The Echo Song
Goodbye Mr. Hooper: Big Bird learns about death
Cookie Monster In The Library: LOL at 0:16
Diana Ross and Big Bird Sings "Believe In Yourself"
Kermit And Joey Sings The Alphabet
Prairie Dawn's School Pageant: Seasons
Number 10 Song
Guy Smiley: Beat The Time with Cookie Monster
Number 10 Song: The Baker
How Crayons Are Made
Ernie Sings "I Don't Want To Live On The Moon"
Grover Discos The Alphabet: Are you ready for the king, girls?
Kermit The Frog Reports The News On Rapunzel
Waiter Grover Serves A Hamburger To Fat Blue
Cookie Monster Asks Questions To Prairie Dawn
Eleven O'Clock, Time To Get Up
Classic Sesame Street Episode "Sing"
Song "There's a Hole in the Bucket"
Ernie And Bert: Bert's It
Kermit The Frog: He ordered the Kermit the Gorf t-shirt
The Count Counts To Nine: Check out the counting jukebox
Oscar Gets A Cell Phone
Ernie Counts Cups And Saucers: Bert as usual worries
Fat Cat Sat Hat
Grover And Madeline Kahn Sings The Echo Song
Goodbye Mr. Hooper: Big Bird learns about death
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