Monday, November 02, 2015

Top Ten Life Advices I Wished Somebody Told Me In My 20s

My 20s were more disappointments and few memorial moments. 5 out of my Top 40 Most Memorable moments were in my 20s. What a waste of my 20s. I was naive. I had too much pride to ask for help; my parents taught me a wrong lesson to do everything ourselves. I played too much role playing games. I shut myself from the world. I complained too much.

On the other hand, I accepted the advice to stop watching TV on weekdays in my Fall Semester 1994 at San Jose State University. My grades went up thereafter. Ironically, higher grades turned out to be overrated which is number 10. Another advice I accepted was finding a part time job. I worked as a part time tutor at the Mathematics Department and a customer service representative at Blockbuster Video.

I blog with 100% confidence I'm grown up. There is still more to learn catching up what I missed. I ask for help when I'm in a jam. I stopped playing role playing games when I turned 27. I'm an open person welcoming the world to me. I stopped complaining.

Here are the top ten life advices I wished somebody told me in my 20s:

10. College grades are overrated. If somebody told me the reality grades are a small factor when it comes to finding a job, then I spend less time studying and more time living a typical 20s college student. Ignore college job placement advice regarding the importance of grades. People skills are more important than grades, and people skills aren't taught in the classroom. The exception is graduate school because grades are important getting in a masters or Ph.D. program. Another way to look at college grades were overrated is applying for a financial loan. Banks don't ask for GPA.

9. Seek new adventures. Experience new experiences. I didn't live the present. I lived for the future. I lived my life in my comfort zone. If I didn't know something, I stay away. I was afraid to leave my comfort shell trying something, anything new.

8. Get stronger. I also include self-confidence—believe in myself. My self-esteem was zero. I was weak. I had little confidence. I was fragile.

7. Be responsible. I failed to take responsibility for my actions. I wasn't professional when the situation called for a professional Raymond Mar to get the job done. I didn't earn my successes. I wanted entitlements with little effort. The world didn't care about me which was justified.

6. Control of my own life. I believed in fate. I believed my life was predetermined. I lived my life believing my life was already set no matter what I did. Life came to me.

5. Don't take life for granted. I lived a careful life believing nothing bad happens to me. The best examples were some of my classes at San Jose State. I took for granted classes I barley pass even though I studied with half effort.

4. Meet new people and make new friends. I created small circle of friends. The failure shows today. Many of my younger friends have many circles of friends. I have very few today. Life could have been better knowing more people.

3. Make mistakes. Making mistakes is one of the best ways to learn anything. I didn't make mistakes. I felt dumb if I make mistakes. I wasn't foolish. I was afraid to try something different. I didn't experiment. I wasn't wild. Obviously, don't break the law. Don't cause harm.

2. Move out of your parent's house as soon as possible. I was saving my money to buy a house when I found my first job. The homes started to get expensive in the late 1990s. I didn't even buy a home during the dot-com bubble burst even though my job was safe. Life could be boring living with your parents as an adult.

1. Embrace change. I resisted change. I wanted my life to be the same. Avoid conflicts. Stay quiet. My life was routine knowing what's going to happen. If it wasn't broken, I didn't fix it. There was no need to improve it. I didn't change myself. I stayed who I was.

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