My feelings were sad and hopeless yesterday. My mouth was frown. My nose felt stuffy. My stomach hurt. I wanted to cry tears. My eyes stayed dried. What happened?
It was another day being unemployed. My typical morning I ate a good breakfast listening to classical music while checking Facebook. I job searched next. Then I continued learning VBA macros for Excel. I ate lunch reading the newspaper. I started preparing to cook dinner. My mom said she cook another meal for dinner. The extra free time was devoted to learning Python from CodeUpStart. The lessons have been poor. The instructor can't teach to save his life. I don't recommend CodeUpStart. I'm completing the lessons because I backed its Kickstarter for a special deal. If I paid full price, then I ask for a refund after the fifth lesson.
Yesterday seemed like a normal day for me. The end of the afternoon I felt sad. I was almost done with a CodeUpStart lesson. There was an error message in the code. I trouble-shooted for an hour. Unsuccessful. I posted my error message asking for help in the comments. I hope I receive assistance. My parents bothered me with the little stuff interrupting my focus learning important job skills. The sadness snowballed to my current life situation. I'm unemployed, I live at home with my parents, and I have few friends. I'm honestly doing the best I can. I'm open to any suggestions such as improving my job search and new job skills to learn.
Also, I received a call from a recruiter for a contract job in the mid afternoon. The recruiter said the hourly pay is $18. I responded saying a data entry position pays higher. The recruiter changed the hourly pay to $28. I hung up. I didn't have time to deal with recruiters' crap. Sometimes recruiters low ball me for openings. The recruiter was hard to understand as if he didn't want the find candidates for the opening. Maybe he was communicating to me don't take the job.
I wanted to watch the Giants vs. Dodgers baseball game. The troubleshooting made me watch the game at the 6th inning. I ate dinner while watching the game.
Feeling sad is a valid human feeling. I'm not spinning today's blog from sad to happy or from negative to positive. Today's blog is written to share my sadness. Yesterday was the first day I felt sad being unemployed. Yesterday was the first day I felt sad being lonely during my unemployment. Yesterday was the first day I felt sad living at home with my parents. Yesterday was the first day I felt sad I lost hope such that I'm learning new job skills and reviewing my existing job knowledge I'm receiving no rewards. Yesterday was the first time I felt sad I never achieve my independence. Yesterday was the first time I felt sad most people who know me believe I'm the old Raymond Mar. Yesterday was the first time I felt sad the world believes I'm a loser.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
Saturday, April 16, 2016
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
My Dream Last Night Clinging To All Hope
The last time I slept I dreamed I started my first day at a new company. It started going to a house in my neighborhood in the morning before driving to work. The two story house was a classmate one year older than me in junior high and high school. I was in a room on the first floor. I opened a clear plastic drawer on a small while shelf. I saw two work badges from were Cisco and Palo Alto Networks I used to work. The Cisco badge was an actual badge when I worked there in 2007-2008. The Palo Alto Networks badge was inaccurate when I worked there in 2014-2015. The family kept my badges. I couldn't explain why.
A daughter was moving out of the house. She was going to college. I congratulated her and said my goodbyes to her and the family before leaving.
I arrived at one of the company's buildings. The campus and company name was Cisco. I worked at Cisco for the second time. My manager was the engineer I supported at Palo Alto Networks. Most of the employees in my department were Palo Alto Networks.
The work environment theme was Egyptian. The cubicle walls were the lowest I ever saw. The cubicle walls were actually dividers for all workspaces. Everyone could see everyone from body to face.
My first company emails were congratulatory emails. One of the emails was from a co-worker when I worked in commercial real estate. The second email was from a friend who played board games in the Northern California wine country. The emails were unexplainable because my family was the only people who knew my new job. I planned to announce my new job on Facebook at the end of the day.
My first assignment was to map out a motherboard. My manager asked the director to help us get the diagram. The three of us almost got fired because my assigned laptop was unsuccessfully purged. My laptop automatically played Japanese Anime or Japanese cartoons. The sound was loud the entire department startled. No harm was done in the end.
I got lost walking around my floor; in particular, I walked around one hallway passing by the server rooms. The brightest areas were the work areas like sunshine focusing directly at the workstations. The lighting could be described as sunlight instead of florescent light. The hallways were darker for which the light source was along the walls.
Could my dream be my first foreshadow? Could my dream be my first life prediction? I have an above average long term memory which includes remembering some dreams. I never dreamed a moment which comes true in the future. It's like a fiction story where a chapter is a foreshadow for a future moment involving the main characters. I'm clinging to all hope I find my independence soon.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
A daughter was moving out of the house. She was going to college. I congratulated her and said my goodbyes to her and the family before leaving.
I arrived at one of the company's buildings. The campus and company name was Cisco. I worked at Cisco for the second time. My manager was the engineer I supported at Palo Alto Networks. Most of the employees in my department were Palo Alto Networks.
The work environment theme was Egyptian. The cubicle walls were the lowest I ever saw. The cubicle walls were actually dividers for all workspaces. Everyone could see everyone from body to face.
My first company emails were congratulatory emails. One of the emails was from a co-worker when I worked in commercial real estate. The second email was from a friend who played board games in the Northern California wine country. The emails were unexplainable because my family was the only people who knew my new job. I planned to announce my new job on Facebook at the end of the day.
My first assignment was to map out a motherboard. My manager asked the director to help us get the diagram. The three of us almost got fired because my assigned laptop was unsuccessfully purged. My laptop automatically played Japanese Anime or Japanese cartoons. The sound was loud the entire department startled. No harm was done in the end.
I got lost walking around my floor; in particular, I walked around one hallway passing by the server rooms. The brightest areas were the work areas like sunshine focusing directly at the workstations. The lighting could be described as sunlight instead of florescent light. The hallways were darker for which the light source was along the walls.
Could my dream be my first foreshadow? Could my dream be my first life prediction? I have an above average long term memory which includes remembering some dreams. I never dreamed a moment which comes true in the future. It's like a fiction story where a chapter is a foreshadow for a future moment involving the main characters. I'm clinging to all hope I find my independence soon.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
Tuesday, April 12, 2016
Naivety Is Ageless
A child being naive is just being a child. A child experienced child's life wondering, asking questions, making mistakes, and learning from the mistakes. A child hopes his or her parents or guardians guide his or her youngest years to become good adults.
Even as adults we experience moments of being naive. Our inner child is our naivety. Adults continue to wonder, ask questions, make mistakes, and learn from the mistakes. Or adults explore, question everything, experiment or trial and error, and repeat trial and error to achieve desired results; in other words, keep an open mind. Children grow up to become adults. Adults grow up to share their knowledge to children. Also, adults grow up indefinitely to become stronger, smarter, kinder, and wiser.
The mature adults behave naive when the situation calls for naivety. The successful adults behave naive when they learn something new. Naivety is a positive attribute because adults shouldn't settle permanently. An adult living a good life must continue to evolve. An adult living a good life must innovate infinitely. Keep looking for a better life indefinitely.
Hiding Our Naivety Is Useless
It can be bad being naive. An immature adult can be naive. An adult with no sense of accomplishment can be naive. An adult dependent on someone else can be naive. An adult with no motivation to be mature can be naive. An adult acting weird can be naive. An adult avoiding adult responsibilities can be naive. An adult with a questionable behavior can be hiding their naivety. I'm not a psychologist. I don't know why some adults are naive. Are these naive adults lack a sense of being a mature adult? Are these naive adults oblivious to their surroundings childish behavior must stop? Are these naive adults in denial they're in adulthood? Is there something in the environment or someone preventing naive adults to grow up? Almost all mature adults indentify naive adults.
I continue to work hard controlling being naive. There was a moment I made a mistake days ago. I immediately became naive to learn from my mistake. I was frustrated. I was honest. I was sincere. I hope I never make the same mistake again. Moreover, I still have more knowledge to learn, more experiences to experience, and more wisdom to acquire. There are more naive moments coming soon. I hope more good naive moments result in a more mature and more professional me. My bad naivety disappeared.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
Even as adults we experience moments of being naive. Our inner child is our naivety. Adults continue to wonder, ask questions, make mistakes, and learn from the mistakes. Or adults explore, question everything, experiment or trial and error, and repeat trial and error to achieve desired results; in other words, keep an open mind. Children grow up to become adults. Adults grow up to share their knowledge to children. Also, adults grow up indefinitely to become stronger, smarter, kinder, and wiser.
The mature adults behave naive when the situation calls for naivety. The successful adults behave naive when they learn something new. Naivety is a positive attribute because adults shouldn't settle permanently. An adult living a good life must continue to evolve. An adult living a good life must innovate infinitely. Keep looking for a better life indefinitely.
Hiding Our Naivety Is Useless
It can be bad being naive. An immature adult can be naive. An adult with no sense of accomplishment can be naive. An adult dependent on someone else can be naive. An adult with no motivation to be mature can be naive. An adult acting weird can be naive. An adult avoiding adult responsibilities can be naive. An adult with a questionable behavior can be hiding their naivety. I'm not a psychologist. I don't know why some adults are naive. Are these naive adults lack a sense of being a mature adult? Are these naive adults oblivious to their surroundings childish behavior must stop? Are these naive adults in denial they're in adulthood? Is there something in the environment or someone preventing naive adults to grow up? Almost all mature adults indentify naive adults.
I continue to work hard controlling being naive. There was a moment I made a mistake days ago. I immediately became naive to learn from my mistake. I was frustrated. I was honest. I was sincere. I hope I never make the same mistake again. Moreover, I still have more knowledge to learn, more experiences to experience, and more wisdom to acquire. There are more naive moments coming soon. I hope more good naive moments result in a more mature and more professional me. My bad naivety disappeared.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
Friday, April 08, 2016
Many Unemployed Jobs Searchers Like Me Are Frustrated
I phone interviewed with a medical technology company on Tue Apr 5. The position was an entry level financial analyst. I received the rejection email on Wed Apr 6. I believe I was overqualified. I have the background work experience and education the position could jump start my career. The hiring manager likely wanted a recent college graduate. Ironically, some other positions I applied the recruiter or the hiring manager told me I'm underqualified. They told me to apply for a junior level position. One frustration is I'm between entry level and experienced. I don't have the experience for senior level positions.
Another frustration was seeing job openings I applied in the past reappear in my job search. I track all my job applications in Excel. I saw four positions I applied months ago job searching on Wed Apr 6. What the heck? Did the hiring manager reject all the initial job applications and job candidates interviewed? Give the less experienced a chance. I said to myself, "I have confidence I can do the job. Give me the interview." I completed all my past jobs at the minimum satisfactory. In fairness to the companies, one possibility I saw the positions again is the job position was cancelled and reopened.
Blame The System
How can I get job experience if companies don't hire me to gain experience? It's a job experience irony. It's a life irony. The job market is tight. Companies can set the job requirements high. Companies can pick and choose patiently. Companies can be picky hiring new candidates. Read between the job market headlines. There are still millions of people looking for a job. Many of the job seekers are good people. Many of the job seekers need a chance. Many of the job seekers need a break. Finding the perfectly experienced job candidate is rare. Ironically, the perfectly experienced job candidate is usually not the best job candidate. The best job candidates can be the less experienced job seekers motivated to strengthen their resume. My advice to frustrated job seekers getting rejection notices is blame the system. Don't blame the recruiter. Don't blame the hiring manager. Today's job market the job candidate with recent experience, relevant experience, and no job training required have the highest chance to get a job. They're in the system. Job candidates with outdated experience, irrelevant experience, and requires job training have the lowest chance to get a job. They're out of the system.
The reader may ask about my networking. I have friends helping me find a job. Some of them submit my resume to human resources. Some of them look for internal job openings.
Don't give up. I'm not giving up. Give up and be unemployed. I have nothing to lose. I apply for full time jobs or contract jobs which strengthens my resume. I learn new job skills when I'm not job searching. Another advice is learn new skills to strengthen your resume when you're not job searching. Unemployed people have all the time in the world. My current project is learning VBA and Python.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
Another frustration was seeing job openings I applied in the past reappear in my job search. I track all my job applications in Excel. I saw four positions I applied months ago job searching on Wed Apr 6. What the heck? Did the hiring manager reject all the initial job applications and job candidates interviewed? Give the less experienced a chance. I said to myself, "I have confidence I can do the job. Give me the interview." I completed all my past jobs at the minimum satisfactory. In fairness to the companies, one possibility I saw the positions again is the job position was cancelled and reopened.
Blame The System
How can I get job experience if companies don't hire me to gain experience? It's a job experience irony. It's a life irony. The job market is tight. Companies can set the job requirements high. Companies can pick and choose patiently. Companies can be picky hiring new candidates. Read between the job market headlines. There are still millions of people looking for a job. Many of the job seekers are good people. Many of the job seekers need a chance. Many of the job seekers need a break. Finding the perfectly experienced job candidate is rare. Ironically, the perfectly experienced job candidate is usually not the best job candidate. The best job candidates can be the less experienced job seekers motivated to strengthen their resume. My advice to frustrated job seekers getting rejection notices is blame the system. Don't blame the recruiter. Don't blame the hiring manager. Today's job market the job candidate with recent experience, relevant experience, and no job training required have the highest chance to get a job. They're in the system. Job candidates with outdated experience, irrelevant experience, and requires job training have the lowest chance to get a job. They're out of the system.
The reader may ask about my networking. I have friends helping me find a job. Some of them submit my resume to human resources. Some of them look for internal job openings.
Don't give up. I'm not giving up. Give up and be unemployed. I have nothing to lose. I apply for full time jobs or contract jobs which strengthens my resume. I learn new job skills when I'm not job searching. Another advice is learn new skills to strengthen your resume when you're not job searching. Unemployed people have all the time in the world. My current project is learning VBA and Python.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
Wednesday, April 06, 2016
I'm Doing The Best I Can, Really II
Blogger's note: Today's blog is posted at both Innovating Common Knowledge and Finding Raymond Mar.
I'm still unemployed. I'm still living at home. My life is moving slowly. I'm doing the best I can. I really am. I job search two times a day six days a week. I work on my personal projects six days a week which are learning Python and VBA. I learn Python at CodeUpStart. The ten lessons I completed so far are poorly taught. I complete the class because I backed the class on Kickstarter. I learn VBA watching YouTube tutorials and reading books. There are days I cook meals for the household. My leisure activities are playing Mahjong (Riichi) and working out at the gym four or five days a week. Three hours a week are spent doing errands out of the house.
I eat three meals a day. I rarely eat at restaurants. I rarely watch television. I sleep eight hours a night. I groom myself to keep my appearance good. I take advantage of opportunities meeting new people. I listen to music, listen to sports on the radio, and listen to podcasts during some of my daily activities.
Independence Is Part Of My Current Manifesto
Some of the small accomplishments during my unemployment include reading books, losing ten pounds, upgrading my phone, and watching one movie on Sat nights. One book worth mentioning is Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson. I do a good job controlling my spending. I minimize splurges.
Some of the big accomplishments during my unemployment include backpacking and camping for the first time in Utah, visiting Las Vegas for the first time since 2006, and writing my 1,000th blog. Another big accomplishment is my new feelings: sacrifice, nothing to lose attitude, going out of my comfort zone, willpower, and not giving up. I learn new job skills such as Oracle, Tableau, and forecasting. I review my existing skills Excel, PowerPoint, and SQL.
I work hard intelligently working my way to live independently. I'm stronger with the pains of rejection. I'm wiser with the mistakes I learn. My brain grows bigger with new knowledge. Each day is devoted to be a good productive day. I feel I'm close to find a job. I feel I'm close to move out. I feel I'm close to live a good life consistently. I feel I'm close to make more good choices. I feel I'm close to control more of my life. I feel I'm close to live a more proactive life. The easy life is gone. I'm responsible to earn my successes. I need a little luck. I need timing in my favor. The life flows with me. I'm an independent mature adult very soon.
Further, there is more working hard intelligently after I fulfill the independent mature adult manifesto. There are more people to meet. There are more adventures to seek. There are more experiences to experience. Never take life for granted. Never stop learning, training, and reviewing. I never stop innovating my life.
Side note: The first time I wrote I'm Doing The Best I Can, Really was on Oct 8, 2012. The two blogs are similar. The difference between the Oct 8, 2012 and Apr 6, 2016 is anime not disclosed in both blogs. I watched anime in 2012. I'm not watching anime today because I retired in Sep 2014.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
I'm still unemployed. I'm still living at home. My life is moving slowly. I'm doing the best I can. I really am. I job search two times a day six days a week. I work on my personal projects six days a week which are learning Python and VBA. I learn Python at CodeUpStart. The ten lessons I completed so far are poorly taught. I complete the class because I backed the class on Kickstarter. I learn VBA watching YouTube tutorials and reading books. There are days I cook meals for the household. My leisure activities are playing Mahjong (Riichi) and working out at the gym four or five days a week. Three hours a week are spent doing errands out of the house.
I eat three meals a day. I rarely eat at restaurants. I rarely watch television. I sleep eight hours a night. I groom myself to keep my appearance good. I take advantage of opportunities meeting new people. I listen to music, listen to sports on the radio, and listen to podcasts during some of my daily activities.
Independence Is Part Of My Current Manifesto
Some of the small accomplishments during my unemployment include reading books, losing ten pounds, upgrading my phone, and watching one movie on Sat nights. One book worth mentioning is Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson. I do a good job controlling my spending. I minimize splurges.
Some of the big accomplishments during my unemployment include backpacking and camping for the first time in Utah, visiting Las Vegas for the first time since 2006, and writing my 1,000th blog. Another big accomplishment is my new feelings: sacrifice, nothing to lose attitude, going out of my comfort zone, willpower, and not giving up. I learn new job skills such as Oracle, Tableau, and forecasting. I review my existing skills Excel, PowerPoint, and SQL.
I work hard intelligently working my way to live independently. I'm stronger with the pains of rejection. I'm wiser with the mistakes I learn. My brain grows bigger with new knowledge. Each day is devoted to be a good productive day. I feel I'm close to find a job. I feel I'm close to move out. I feel I'm close to live a good life consistently. I feel I'm close to make more good choices. I feel I'm close to control more of my life. I feel I'm close to live a more proactive life. The easy life is gone. I'm responsible to earn my successes. I need a little luck. I need timing in my favor. The life flows with me. I'm an independent mature adult very soon.
Further, there is more working hard intelligently after I fulfill the independent mature adult manifesto. There are more people to meet. There are more adventures to seek. There are more experiences to experience. Never take life for granted. Never stop learning, training, and reviewing. I never stop innovating my life.
Side note: The first time I wrote I'm Doing The Best I Can, Really was on Oct 8, 2012. The two blogs are similar. The difference between the Oct 8, 2012 and Apr 6, 2016 is anime not disclosed in both blogs. I watched anime in 2012. I'm not watching anime today because I retired in Sep 2014.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
Tuesday, March 29, 2016
October First Time Not The Only Time
The first times: backpacking in Utah Eastern Standard Time, eating in a five star buffet, playing Mahjong on an automatic table, and entering a haunted house on Halloween. The 49ers playing at Levi’s Stadium was the second time I saw the team played live. It was the third time I played Mahjong (Riichi) in costume, first time during Halloween.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
Monday, March 28, 2016
Throwback Blog: My Thoughts On Game 7 Of The 2014 World Series
Blogger’s Note: Throwback blogs are blogs from my past. I start posting past blogs reflecting what I wrote. It's like my "A Second Look" blogs for which I give myself feedback.
Today's throwback blog is titled My Thoughts On Game 7 Of The 2014 World Series in Oct 2014. The 2016 baseball season begins on Mon Apr 4. San Francisco Giants fans are hyped for an even year baseball season. I wrote my thoughts the best way Giants fan supported the 2014 team was to believe, to hope for the best, to have faith, and good timing. These also apply to real life today.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
Today's throwback blog is titled My Thoughts On Game 7 Of The 2014 World Series in Oct 2014. The 2016 baseball season begins on Mon Apr 4. San Francisco Giants fans are hyped for an even year baseball season. I wrote my thoughts the best way Giants fan supported the 2014 team was to believe, to hope for the best, to have faith, and good timing. These also apply to real life today.
The Baltimore Orioles was the last road team to win Game 7 in a best of seven World Series defeating the home team Pittsburg Pirates 4-1 in the 1979 World Series. The 1982 St. Louis Cardinals, 1985 Kansas City Royals, 1986 New York Mets, 1987 and 1991 Minnesota Twins, 1997 Florida Marlins, 2001 Arizona Diamondbacks, 2002 Anaheim Angels, and the 2011 Cardinals won Game 6 and their clinching Game 7 at their home stadium since 1979. The road team Cleveland Indians tied the series 3-3 in Game 6 of the 1997 World Series against the home team Marlins; in other words, the Marlins could have clinched the World Series in six games.
The road team San Francisco Giants were shutout by the home team Royals on Game 6 10-0 yesterday. I have mixed feelings and confused emotions today. There is a sense of urgency. Giants fans want the Giants to win the World Series. We remember past Game 7 World Series; in particular the 2002 World Series when the Giants were up 3-2 in the series against the Angels. History is against the Giants. The best Giants fans do is hope for the best. Stay positive. We believe the Giants change history. Support the team. Giants fans cheer for them. Have faith timing and luck are in favor of the Giants.
The 2014 baseball season ends today. One team wins and another team loses. Tomorrow is back to normal life.
Side note: I remember starting pitcher Josh Beckett of the Florida Marlins pitching Game 6 of the 2003 World Series on three days rest. The road team Marlins clinched the 2003 World Series against the home team New York Yankees. I understand the reason Marlins manager Jack McKeon made the choice to start Beckett because he didn't want to play a game 7.
Email: feedbackininblog@innovateinfinitely.com
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