Thursday, February 23, 2006

The Greatest Fear Is Fear Itself. Nonsense!

I remember one break period while I was in 8th grade I feared being an adult. I avoided the thought of growing up and living on my own . . . something many 8th graders were thinking. Not me. In 6th grade, however, I thought of living single throughout my life, working as a design engineer, living in an apartment, eating TV dinners, and playing video games at the arcade every night after work. The 6th grade was a silly dream and didn't count.

I never worried about being adult. I said to myself I shouldn't worry because I had at least four years remaining in junior high and high school. What did I know about being an adult? School taught me academic education.

Although in 8th grade I experienced a small preview of adulthood. In April 1988, my family and my uncle's family visited an open house in Cal Poly. Cal Poly is known as California Polytechnical Institute located in San Luis Obispo and it's about 3.5 hours south of San Jose. (I visited Cal Poly in 1998 when a friend invited me to visit.) I remembered getting sick either by food poisoning or eating too much ice cream. The one instance I clearly remember a glance at adulthood was Cal Poly's student union. In the student union, I saw college kids playing video games, eating at the cafeteria, and shopping for groceries. I was scared for a while thinking about the grocery store. Soon, one day I shop for myself in a grocery store, and I couldn't buy TV dinners all the time XD

Today, I don't fear fear itself; rather, I fear not getting fear. Without fear, without being scared, I don't motivate myself. I say it differently and personally: I am scared if I stay at my crappy job forever. I use the fear of being employed at my current job forever to motivate myself to learn how to start a part time business. I'm taking a night class at a local junior college on how to write a business class. I'm learning as much as I can on small businesses.

I never admit I'm going to stay in the same place forever. Innovators never do.

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Resume? I don't need a resume. Here is my resume: Innovator. I'm available to innovate for hire.

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