How Do They Do It? How Do They Do It?

One observation I see daily is how some people blend easily in a crowd. The crowd is a bunch of friends, a bunch of strangers meeting for the first time, or a bunch of people in a party . . . any group of people. How do they do it? How do they blend in and bring energy and enthusiasm in a group of people? Charisma? Good vibes? Good looks? Positive energy? Tone of voice? Correct attitude? Funny? Luck?

I had a friend. High school educated, worked in retail, little overweight, 6ft tall, talked slowly, slow learner, and ten times more geek than me. In Anime Expo'99, he successfully got a press badge and watched the main events show from the side of the stage. Everytime we were together and with people, he attracted a crowd and he was an instant star. How did he do it? I have no idea.

I must be doing something wrong. Is it my voice? My voice is my voice. My looks? My braces are removed in June. My accutane treatment is half way completed. Wear makeup? Um, I think about makeup. Am I sending negative vibes? Do I act nervous? Insecure? Angry? I don't know. I'm wearing new clothing. I donated my at least 10 year old clothing. Obviously I buy new pants when I need to. I'm doing something to change and to improve my appearance. Do I need to improve my conversation skills? I say yes, I always improve my conversation skills, do anything to be more charming.

Am I portraying myself as too good a person? I'm too good? I'm too perfect? I'm not good. I'm not perfect. I have flaws. Maybe I do a good job hiding them and I don't realize it. Do I act and behave as a quiet person? Bad luck and bad timing I'm with a group of people and there is no connection between me and them? Do I scare people? I admit I laugh too much. I'm working on that bad habit. Do some people look at me as a nerd, a geek, and all of a sudden, they ignore me? I have bad luck I haven't met people like me to expand my long term circle of friends, my long-term friendships.

I want to be a person who attracts people. I don't want to be a person who chases people. I have many ways to communicate including texting, AIM, Yahoo IM, and Facebook to keep in touch. I want to meet new people. I want to portray myself as a fun and good person, and create long term friendships. Age, race, creed, education. Doesn't matter. I have a desire to meet new people. I want to be a "there he is person." I avoid the jerks, bitches, and people full of drama.

In Fanime 2009, I hung out with a few friends who introduced me to more friends. Some of them do it. They attract people. They're funny. They're the source of energy, source of fun, and source of enthusiasm. How do they do it? I'm still trying to figure it out. Confidence? Opening up? I had a few highlights being with them. What I did was followed how they were having fun. They were my models, my examples how to behave and to act. Oh, I did wear makeup when I wore my costumes. OMG, what a difference!!! People were coming up to me. I don't recall a past anime convention where so many people came up to me to talk, to joke, and to take a picture of me.

The lessons I learned regarding how people attract, retain, and earn friendships and being a friendly good guy are having the attitude of being cheerful, not being a stuck up. Have courage to speak up and everyone makes mistakes and say stupid jokes. Make sure what you say is appropriate; in other words, be tactful when meeting new people. Yes, I have lots more to learn.

Side note: I review my top five rules for daily living:

1. Don't criticize, condemn, and complain, and don't compare with others.
2. Don't act like a jerk or bitch.
3. Always speak calmly and be calm.
4. Don't daydream when driving.
5. Keep your head up high . . . look at the cute face when talking.

I'm growing up Finding Raymond Mar