The Correct Growing Up Part 2

There was a second growing up moment on Wed Nov 7, 2012. I interviewed for a contract position at Google. I observed the employees were having fun, getting along with each other, and being loose. The lesson I learned was personality. A good personality was important in interacting with people. Positive, cheerful, kindness, and joy were inside the building.

I followed up the next day creating my standard itinerary job searching on weekdays and relaxing on weekends; in other words, business on Mon-Fri and pleasure on Sat-Sun. I was approaching my life to begin another chapter to end playtime and to get serious. I wanted a balance life to find new adventures and experience new experiences taking advantage of being unemployed.

I take the second growing up moment back. I was wrong. The lessons I learned were misunderstood. I made the wrong changes in my life.

My life since Wed Nov 7, 2012 was too much fun and not enough job preparedness. There was pleasure every weekday when I should have delayed pleasure to weekends. I lost my focus on the most important priorities including working out at the gym, job searching, and keeping my job skills refreshed. However, I refreshed my accounting, Crystal Reports, Excel, and Access taking online classes in 2013. They were not enough. I'm still looking for a job. I needed more effort and more focus to learn new skills. I needed to spend more time job searching, improving my resume, and seeking advice.

The bottom line is I took life too lightly. I blew the good personality lesson out of proportion. I lived life with too much fun. There was no balance being serious, professional, relaxing, and loose. Playtime is now over.

What Is Your Growing Up Part 2 Moment?

The answer is multiple moments. The growing up part 2 has been going on since Wed Sept 18 when I reset my priorities. I needed to reorganize my life. My first priorities include job searching, learning or refreshing job skills, going to the gym, and listening to music. Watching TV and reading books are some of my second priorities. My third priorities are watching anime and playing video games; moreover, I'm retiring from anime.

Another growing up moment took place on Wed Oct 9. I discovered my own personal leap of faith. I never believed in myself. I had no faith. I needed to believe for my future successes. I needed faith. I have hope I have a bright future.

I'm correcting my current biggest personal problem I discovered on Sat Oct 26. Sometimes being an open person has adverse effects. I realized there were moments I lacked discretion when I communicated with people. I said too much or said something that was unnecessary. I hope the three words, "let me think", help me pause and think before I speak.

And I created short term goals for the first time since 2008 on Sun Oct 27. The four short term goals are review my job skills, find a job, find a permanent job, and move out of my parent's house. These four goals prove to me and to the world I continue my life journey to work hard and focus to act, behave, and think my age.

There is no end to growing up part 2 soon. There are more self-discoveries and lessons from my mistakes I blog soon. Stay tuned. I feel good and hopeful I'm going to have a good life I'm patiently waiting.

Side note 1: I believe I didn't get the job at Google because I made a mistake completing my background check application. I remember writing incorrect information. It's important to provide accurate references. Contractor companies must be mentioned in resumes and job application because of legal concerns. I knew I did a good job in the interview.

Side note 2: Here are the complete blogs I referenced:

*Reset Priorities

*This Is My Leap Of Faith

*"Let Me Think", A New Social Problem I Must Fix

*My New Short Term Goals

My New Short Term Goals

The title is correct. I have goals. I stopped believing in goals for a long time. The last time I created goals was in 2008. I stopped creating goals in 2009 because I didn't know what I was doing and I didn't know how I wanted to live my future. I have been living the present life one day at a time. I know how I want to live my future. The four short term goals are the following:

1. Relearn and refresh job skills and knowledge. I relearn and refresh SQL, PowerPoint, and Visio since Mon Oct 7. I reviewed my accounting, Excel, Access, Crystal Reports, and business analyst concepts earlier this year.

The first goal also includes learning new job skills. For example, I'm self teaching myself Salesforce because I see Salesforce experience in many analyst positions. I don't know my next skill after I learn Salesforce at the moment. I continue learning new job skills because I'm still looking for a job. I must keep learning to stay competitive.

2. Find a job. I know the hard work focusing on job skills and knowledge from the first goal pays off when I find a job. Most of the jobs I applied are temporary positions or contractor positions. The job market is tough.

I continue to find time improving my job skills when I work. I learn anything new if it's related to my job or not. I choose what I feel is best taking into account my abilities, my strengths, and my future job prospects.

3. Find a permanent job. I have hope the economy strengthens significantly such that more people are working soon. I have hope and faith I find a permanent job to begin another career. The experience from my temporary or contractor job opens doors to new permanent opportunities.

4. Move out. I'm ready to move out of the house. It's time for me to live on my own. It's time to take responsibility for myself and my entire life. I'm going to be 100% independent. Freedom is coming soon.

"Let Me Think", A New Social Problem I Must Fix

Laughing out too loud and laughing out too much were a social problem I corrected earlier this year. I believe I laughed too loud because I have partial tone deaf which I can't control. Another reason I laughed too loud was I wanted to be noticed. I felt ignored. I wanted people to recognize I'm in the room even though I'm bad a telling jokes and making people laugh. I even laughed at stupid jokes that should not have a laughable response.

I'm happy laughing too loud was corrected. I'm calm. I think a few more seconds before reacting to a joke. I listen more carefully. I laugh at an appropriate volume which is laughing quieter than the noise level. I have more control laughing.

My new social problem is being discrete. I'm an open person. I talk about almost anything about my life. I say about 98% of who, what, where, why, and how of Raymond Mar is open when I communicate with many people. The downside to being open is being too open sometimes.

I have a problem saying too much. I have a problem what I'm saying and how I'm saying with no control. I speak quickly because I feel dumb if I don't speak immediately in a conversation. Speaking quickly can be dumb. Errors and lapse statements are the results. I don't think ahead in a conversation. I don't think deeply enough. "Let me think" should be three words I must say more frequently. Pausing in a conversation is better than a too quick response.

I'm not a person who communicates my mind or a person who "always speaks his or her mind" regardless of being good, bad, a criticism, or a complement anytime, anywhere, and anyone. I'm not a person who communicates to create a loud and rowdy argument. I'm not a person who wants to start a confrontation. I'm very good at avoiding a scene publicly or at another person's house. And I'm very good at keeping confidential information and secrets.

I must strengthen my discretion. I must learn to speak more maturely with a trustworthy and a controllable tone. I must learn to choose my words wisely. There are some situations where sharing something is ill-advised. I succeed at learning how to control all my communication aspects in time.

Most Interesting Man In The World Halloween 2013

The latest radio commercial I heard from my local sports station. Jonathan Goldsmith is the actor who portrays The Most Interesting Man In The World for the Dos Equis beer commercials. The narrator is Will Lyman from Frontline.

*Even out of costume, he's still the most mysterious person at the masquerade ball.

*He has successfully grown candy corn.

*His scarecrow also works on tax collectors and traveling salesmen.

*The last time he bobbed for apples, he got a three pound lobster.

*He can also scare the pants back on to you.

*When he watches the cauldron, it boils faster.

*His tricks are also treats.

I'm 39 And I'm Lonely

Blogger's Note: My job activity is stronger in the past 10 days. I have a request for employers and recruiters who found my blog doing my background check. Please read the blog objectively and with an open heart.

I'm a human being. Humans have feelings and desires. Humans are meant to be with other people. Human interaction is important to live a good life. I feel lonely. I fear I live a life with nobody to be a part of. I feel depressed. Today is a good time to use my lonely card.

I see other people having lots of their people in their lives when I'm out of the house. These people have common interests, personalities, and behaviors. These people have close and strong connections everyone in their circles accepts each other. There is tolerance for differences. People enter and leave in our lives. I feel afraid I'm not going to find a group of people with close and strong connections in the years to come.

I do have friends. I'm not alone. I'm experiencing more life changes. I'm experiencing another growing up moment. I'm experiencing new perspectives and new thoughts. I'm losing interest in some of my long term hobbies. I'm getting smarter and wiser. I'm goofing off less and taking life a little bit more seriously.*

I believe I'm too unique to find new people and make new friends. I want to be with people with a balance between being serious and having a sense of fun. I'm not the best joke teller. I have a good sense of humor. I want to meet new people who are active with a sense of new adventures and new experiences. I'm open to do new things. I want to become interested in others. I want to learn something new to improve my life, and I hope other people improve their lives with my influence. I like to be with honest people doing their best. I desire intelligent conversations, sharing feelings, exchanging ideas, expressing thoughts, and open communications. I believe good conversation skills are important for a social life. My favorite hobbies include hiking, playing board games, reading books, ballroom dancing, listening to music, and cooking.

I believe age is just a number. However, age is a factor for today's blog. I believe age is a factor from the viewpoint of behaviors, actions, states of mind, and attitudes. I'm happy there are some people in their 20s who're more mature, wiser, and more responsible than people I know in their 40s. I do my best to relate to people in their 20s. It's getting harder being with people in their 20s. It's harder to live a life like I'm in my 20s. Almost all of my closest friends are in their 20s. I'm afraid they're going to pursue new adventures and experiences I can't be a part of.

Everyone is going to feel depressed, sad, lonely, and despair. Those feelings show we're human. Humans never give up. There is hope. We need to believe. I had experienced these feelings in the past. I found strength and wisdom to overcome. I can do it again. I'm optimistic I find ways to expand my circle of friends. I need to look extra hard and extra smart to continue adding people and friends.

Tomorrow is another day and another opportunity to get better. I'm going to be proactive.

*Side note: I write another blog discussing being more my age in another blog. I realized I goofed off too much in the past year. I had too much fun. I should have taken life a little more seriously.

Top Ten Deals

We have experienced good purchases and bad purchases. We remember those purchases reminding us to take advantage of huge savings and avoiding too expensive prices. I looked back at my purchases. There were lots of good deals.

The best place to find consistent deals is at Daiso, a Japanese store selling most items at $1.50. I purchased light bulbs for $.25, snacks for $1.00, and a mouse pad for $1.50. I even created a Daiso wish list when I move out of the house. Daiso is number eight in my top ten list.

I like to share my top ten deals.

10. Wheat Thins (2009). Safeway sold Wheat Thins for $.99 the week before the Super Bowl. I have never seen $.99 Wheat Thins thereafter.

9. Ramnue (2007). The cashier scanned the wrong bar code. She scanned the individual bottle bar code instead of the six pack bar code. I paid six Ramnue for the price of one.

8. Daiso (Multiple Times). The list is endless buying items at Daiso. 500 toothpicks for $1.50 is a great example. Stationary, cups, electronics, batteries, bare necessities, etc. The quality of some items is not good. Be prepared for disappointment sometimes.

7. Betrayal At The House On The Hill (2007). The first edition board game was out of print because there were too many errors. People were selling the game on eBay for over $100.00. I found the game at a game store unopened and selling at full retail $49.99. I was lucky.

6. Ranma 1/2 Season 1 on VHS (1996). A comic book store was going out of business. The owner sold five of the six VHS tapes in stock for $5 each. The retail price is $30 each.

5. Anime Expo '99 (1999). Many sellers in the dealer's room sold goods from 25% to 40%. I purchased two VHS box sets at 40% off and a plushie at 25% off.

4. The Orange Box (2007). Valve released The Orange Box which contains five video games for the price of one. IGN.com was quoted "The best deal in videogame history" at the time. The video games included Team Fortress 2, Half-Life 2, Half-Life 2: Episode 1, Half-Life 2: Episode 2, and Portal. We paid $10 for each game.

3. Black Friday (Multiple Times). I purchased a 2TB Western Digital External hard drive for $75 on Black Friday 2012. There were multiple Black Friday's I purchased $3 DVDs and $10 TV box sets. I purchased a 19" flat panel for $130 on Black Friday 2006.

2. Gas (Dec 2008). The financial and real estate bubble recession that started in late 2008 gave us cheap gas. I paid $1.73 a gallon for gas.

1. Dell Inspiron 8600 (2005). I purchased my first laptop at closeout price. The regular price was over $2000. I paid $1,250.

A Life Reminder From Costco's Pizza

My sister in-law ordered Costco pizzas for her children's birthday party. Her children were born 11 days apart in different years. My parents and I helped her by picking up the pizzas she pre-ordered days ago. We were running late. We didn't check the order.

We should have checked the order. She pre-ordered four pepperoni pizzas and four combination pizzas. We opened the pizzas at the party. We received four pepperoni pizzas and four cheese pizzas. My sister in-law took two of the four boxes of uneaten cheese pizzas back to Costco for a refund.

I believe customers have some responsibility to check their orders. Moreover, I believe double checking takeout orders, final presentation preparations, safety procedures, etc. are worth the extra time. The next time I see a Costco takeout pizza, I'm reminded to double check. We're human. We make mistakes.

This Is My Leap Of Faith

Wikipedia defines Leap of Faith as, in its most commonly used meaning, is the act of believing in or accepting something intangible or unprovable, or without empirical evidence. It is an act commonly associated with religious belief as many religions consider faith to be an essential element of piety. Here's the link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Leap_of_faith

I wrote a blog yesterday at my personal blog Finding Raymond Mar titled "Fear". I shared my four fears. I realized I discovered something that was missing in my life since 2007. I rediscovered faith. My Leap Of Faith is faith itself.

One common theme I blog is getting better and never stop innovating--innovate infinitely. Change with a purpose or a reason. I have been a better person. I'm getting stronger, wiser, and smarter. I have been experiencing new experiences and seeking new adventures. I meet lots of new people and make new friends. I never stop learning. I'm responsible for my actions. I earn my successes.

The paragraph above is a good description for people who need to know how to be a mature and a good person. It summarizes and gets to the point he or she must grow up to be a good person. There are millions of people who acts and behaves immaturely. Unfortunately, I missed an important attribute to be a good person and succeed at everything. The attribute is faith.

I didn't have faith. I couldn't explain how and why faith was missing in my daily life. I didn't believe in myself. Faith is back in my life. I convince myself I believe I find a job soon. I believe I move out of my parent's house and start a new life soon. I believe life is going to be much, much better soon. I'm going to focus and prepare to start a new career today. I already revised my resume on Mon Oct 7. The next few days I start reviewing SQL and learning Salesforce. I have faith I earn my successes.

Also Hope

Hope was a feeling I lacked during my job search. I do my best and I hope for the best starting today. I have more respect and appreciation for hope. Hope gives me additional motivation to find a job, move out, and begin a new life. Hope is giving me strength. I think about hope when I press send to submit my resume to a job opening.

I looked at my 2013 blogs. I mentioned "hope" nine times before my "This Is My Leap Of Faith" entry. One of the instances was the title of a blog for which I never mentioned "hope" in the text. I had been feeling unhopeful. I have hope now.

Faith. Hope. Believe. I feel better.

Pictures In May

May these pics inspired you in something. Enjoy!

Five Years Ago Today I Grew Up

Today is the five year anniversary I realized I must grow up. An immediate sigh of relief happened. I felt loose. I felt relaxed. All of the hate in my life disappeared. I forgave everything and everyone bad that happened in the past. It was the first time I took responsibility for myself. It was the day I made immediate life changes.

Living a mature life is great. I see a new life perspective. I live a better life with more wisdom, strength, and intelligence. I stopped complaining. I stopped carrying my entire world on my shoulders. I’m responsible for my actions, my thinking, and my relationships. I’m responsible to earn, to learn, to grow, and to innovate. There is no magic pill for success. I must earn my success.

The downside today is I don't have a job. I'm optimistic I find a job soon. The next company I work I avoid repeating the same mistakes at my past jobs. I take more responsibility for my career. I act, behave, and think professionally. I continue to stay active job searching, taking online classes to keep my skills sharp, working out at the gym . . . living my life one day at a time regardless of my unemployment.

The most important lesson I learned is never taking life for granted. My life was handed to me on a silver platter before Oct 4, 2008. Everything went my way. I didn't even try 100%. My life went downhill months before Oct 4, 2008. I didn't know what to do. I was naive. I was lost. I was a wimp.

I started going uphill on Oct 4, 2008. There is no more taking my life for granted. I consider myself lucky I self-discovered growing up. There are millions of people older than me who haven't grown up. They still live a life complaining and hating. They still live a life waiting and praying for something good to happen. They still live a life believing they're immune to bad events and situations. They still life a life believing they're on top of the world, and the world must revolve around them. The immature and naive life is no longer me. Cheers for living as a strong man and a mature adult. The sky's the limit as I continue going upwards.